Wednesday 22 June 2011

My experiments with beauty!


Do you like looking beautiful? Who wouldn't, right? I try to remember since when i have been visiting my beautician- ahem...it sounds time immemorial! I started the easiest and economical thing growing teens do- threading my eyebrows. The first time i finished threading, the poor beautician was sweating and swearing. She might have thought- Why such fuss for a simple threading? For those who have "enjoyed" the swivel chair, while threading, the positions how you place your fingers holding the eyebrows and the fast snip of thread can still mean "terror". Mark my words, the first time you thread is sure a nightmare, you end up with puffed eyelids and brows reminding you of the Caveman's better half.



Mother used to frighten me saying bleaching and facial treatment would leave my skin wrinkled and dry. To compensate the dryness ( my skin was absolutely ok, even oily!), i tried every trick i could read as beauty tips. Stuffs you could have never imagined- honey, multani mitti, papaya paste, ground custard apple, neem, sandal wood paste, saffron, milk cream, i tried everything under the sun before my first bleach experience. Again, it was a pre-planned disaster, planned and executed by my beautician. She suggested i try some herbal bleach as i was a first timer. I almost shrieked in horror looking at my caked face on the parlor's mirror! And the worst part came when the parlor assistant tried to steam my face. Whaaaaaaaaaat? I looked at the apparatus in dismay- fumes were rising like a miniature volcano from it. Should i put my face over there? I look incredulously at my friend who took me to the parlor. Oh, you are altready half way down to becoming Aishwarya Rai, i said to myself and continued my ordeal. The next step was scrapping the black heads from my nose using that odd-looking needle and there ended my patience. Who wanted a la Aishwarya? I just wanted to get up and run away from that swivel chair as fast as my legs would carry!



As years passed by, i loved the visit to my beautician, i got some quality time to myself, snoring away with the face pack on, with curious onlookers peering! Pampering oneself at the cost of a poor man's wallet ( the menfolk of the house, who else?) was doing great to boost my battered female ego. See, i was avenging the men of the house who never give me my personal space and time... My monthly visit to the parlor was the most heatedly debated issue at home, by hook or crook, i won all arguments FOR a parlor visit. I experimented a lot with my poor hair- perming, then straightening, again ironing, rebonding and finally when so little hair was left in the scalp, i gave up! Now i really don't know what hairstyle i sport and sincerely oil my hair everyday. I end up with so much oil on my face everyday, guys who manage to look at me must think- Does she pour all her monthly ration of oil in her hair, a single day? 




Then came the Mother of all Beauty Tricks- Slimming Clinics. I watched with my mouth wide open when the beautician explained how she could reduce 10 kgs of fat in 10 days by slimming. Diet and regular sittings- a kg loss cost a thousand bucks! Oh well, why not give a try, i thought. But worldly wise this time over, i decided to lie low and watch what happened to sister-in-law who enrolled in a slimming session. She lost 10 kgs in 10 sittings and i was awe-struck! I was thunder struck when sis in law gained 20 kgs immediately after the sessions were over. Thank you dear God, you saved my husband's hard earned 10000 bucks! Tired of all experimenting, all i do these days is to visit parlors for an eyebrow threading, bleach, facial and a good afternoon siesta once a month. It is the same herbal bleach and pack every time, how much ever that woman in the parlor tries to convince me...I am sick of all New looks! Does this mean I am getting old? Old or young, all i feel is I AM BEAUTIFUL!!! 

30 comments:

  1. It was all fun reading your hilarious post.I don't know much about these 'face-saving' beauty enhancing treatments but I certainly know that a visit to a beautician makes one look good albiet for a short duration!!A monthly visit is not a luxury and should not be grudged by the menfolk who foot the bill.

    Slim woman is an oxymoron in most cases and slimming exercise is an eternal battle waged since time immemorial and the last word has not been said on who has won-the woman or the flab!! hahaha..

    Keep writing your rib tickling posts.It has a salutary effect on my burgeoning paunch!!

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  2. It was fun reading through your blog. I too go for eye brow trim and haircut only, other things i can easily do in my home by myself. Even eyebrow trimming i have stopped going for i am into growing my eyebrows at this age, by applying religiously every night some castor oil, waiting for results to show.

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  3. *mouth agape*...eyebrow threaded???.. jeez! am a really novice in beauty department!.. hahahhaa....m-e-n...you sure must be a stunning woman...i never knew such went into looking good like the bollywood actresses....regarding the slimming issue, so many herbal teas & drugs are sold here in Nigeria but i refused to fall for it becox i don't believe in it, EXERCISE & strict dieting everyday keeps the weight away..lol @ gaining back 20kg!...an enjoyable post :D

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  4. NO! you are not getting old, & you are beautiful, like you said, it gets tiring following NEW LOOKS.

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  5. hahahahaha ahh this reminded me my first visit to perlr...its funny how you close your eyes sitting on that chair wishing and expecting to be converted in Ashwarya rai when you will open your eyes after all that bleaching and cleansing and facial ...and phew! what a disappointment to see your face exctly after that...certainly mush better par nothing like Ashwarya RAi:-(

    btw you can use my tip for beautiful hair and healthy hair...take an egg, pour one table spoon honey , two table-spoon curd, half lemon, aik table spoon sarson ka oil or any other oil that you use, if you have extra oily hair you can use egg yellow only, apply that on your head, leave it for like one hour or so, and then wash it, try not to use much shampoo after it, as its natural remedy for damagd hair, let it work its way,,and trust me,,you will feel the difference right after the first time..its like diet for your hair!

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  6. a fun post cloud nine and 99% percent of Indians, compare with Aishwarya Rai... Hmmm.. I just love this post..

    Someone is Special

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  7. Finally, none of your 'beautifying' efforts worked out? I believe, your treadmill is also used as a towel hanger!

    Controlled diet, daily walk, doing our work ourselves will be sufficient to keep us beautiful!

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  8. Dear KP Sarathy, thanks for the visit and comment. Slim woman is an 'oxymoron'? hahaha! Thanks for the encouragement, would sure love to shake the funny bones:P

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  9. Dear Rama, thanks a lot for the comment. Castor oil for eyebrows? Super, i have tried it in my hostel days, not much of a difference, now my eyebrows resemble a thin arch drawn with a sharp pencil;)

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  10. Dear Ibhade, thanks for the comment:) Yes, you have to see how much average Indian teens shell out for beauty care. Beauty care and cosmetics is multi billion dollar business in India, with all major players vying foy bigger market share! BIG is the BEST, you see. But same can't be said for body weight;) Agreed with you, weight loss must be through exercise and diet only!

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  11. Dear Mishi...thanks for the comment mate! hahaha, agreed with what you say, when you open your eyes after all that ordeal, you certainly can see NO CHANGE whatsoever! And thanks for the nice tip on hair treatment, shall sure try it:)

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  12. Dear SiS, thanks for the visit and comment. Yes, for us beauty= aishwarya all the time:P Glad you like my post!

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  13. Dear Janaki...hahaha, glad you remember my tread mill aka towelhanger;) Thanks for the tip0 to stay healthy, i shall sure try the diet part, if not the exercise part. Lord, how i hate the exercises! grrrrrrrrrrr!

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  14. Hey Cloud Nine,
    That comment was for fun in keeping with the spirit of the post.Pl do not be offended by the word oxymoron.
    I enjoyed the post thoroughly.You have a way of injecting humour in your posts.
    kpartha12@gmail.com

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  15. Yet again another hilarious post.
    I liked the part on slimming and gaining weight.
    Looking forward to amusing posts.

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  16. Dear Partha, No worries, i never take things to my heart:) I know you made the comment JFF, please don't mind. Would love to receive your great feedback, as always!

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  17. Dear Krupaa, thanks for the comment. Will sure try to live upto your expectations:)

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  18. Hilarious and amusing as always! Hahaha...Loved
    every bit of it! Please keep them coming :D

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  19. Interesting post. In the eyebrow part, you sounded like me though the whole post was amazing.

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  20. Gosh how I hate going to the salon. I didn't get my eyebrows threaded for the longest time for the fear of pain. I still wince and wriggle and have tears running down my cheeks. Ahh the things we do for the sake of grooming!

    But unlike you I play it safe with my hair. Have heard quite a few horror stories of treatments gone wrong.

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  21. hii

    an interesting read indeed!

    as the head geisha says in the movie-memoirs of a geisha "beauty and agony are inseparable"

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  22. Really funny LOL! Beauty is a big business and as in all business the creation of demand is a crucial factor. No wonder all of us run around trying to look "beautiful" and slim making millionaires out of these beauty parlours.

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  23. 1.If visitin these Beuaty Parlors adds some confident feeling for womn its well and good for womn, But
    2.what i feel is those beauty wer all only for a limited time frame and wer nt enduring.
    3.Its better womn pay a visit once in a while for some importnt functions.

    And reg Slimmin cen ters...
    1.Watch TAMILFORCE.COm and a Neeya Naana episode on fast course getting slim
    2.And how it ruined her health(lungs injured) and her looks(@ ageof 40 she looked lke 60).
    And reg PartIII of the story
    1.getting older(may b partly true...)
    2.Above all Beauty is SKIN DEEp.

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  24. LOL, If that herbal way was so herbal and effective, it might have ended up in granny's 'nuskhe' a long time back.

    But true, beauty is not seen, but felt, inside.


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  25. Dear Arthi, thanks for the comment, shall sure try to write more comedy;)

    Dear Barkha Dhar, Welcome to my blog! We seem to be sailing in the same boat, when it comes to threading? LOL!!!

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  26. Dear Purba, thanks for the comment and glad you play it safe with your hair. God saved the hair!

    Dear AS, thanks for the comment and that is a cute anecdote from Memoirs of a Geisha!

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  27. Dear Meera, thanks for the comment. Yes, we are instrumental in creating new millionaires:P

    Dear Anonymous, thanks a lot for the comment mate! What you say is absolutely right, we ought to visit salons once in a while, but how long that while might be differs individually. As for slimming centres, the speed with which they mushroom is too scary. It is sickening to see youngsters falling into the boobytraps:(

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  28. Dear Blasphemous Aesthete. thanks for your comment. Yes, beauty is skin deep, one ought to feel it in his/her heart:)

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  29. Interesting and lovely post... Guess everyone has his or her own share of parlour experiences...!!!

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  30. I had always imagined what good does this beauty clinic does to woman's look -- My wife had always scolded me for not taking her to one here and she never failed to visit one whenever she had been to her hometown. Now I understand the truth behind it. Thanks nive

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