Sunday 30 October 2011

Excuse me madam...Weight loss?

This happened last week when i was waiting at the traffic signal for my green lights. My new two wheeler shining and my face radiant ( read- oil oozing out of every damn pore!) i stood in the blazing afternoon sun. The guy who stopped his vehicle next to me showed a fleeting smile as i glanced carelessly at the surroundings. He took out a card from his pocket and waved it at me. I being the Good Samaritan as always, thought he was looking for some address in the vicinity and got the card from his hand. The address read- Sutharsan Nutrition Center. I couldn't remember any center by that name and dutifully said- " Sir, there is no address like this in this area." He widened his smile saying- " No madam, we have a weight loss program, do pay us a visit". Well, you can imagine how i would have felt- dropped from the Eiffel Tower with a boulder tied to your neck. I did the most reckless thing next- locked my vehicle and got down from it. The weight loss wallah was happy, thinking he caught a big fish- oops, a blue whale! What he was next to see was the ugliest side of a seemingly normal woman...

Oh yes- you get rid of my weight and my money too!
Pic coutesy-

The conversation went thus- 
Weight loss wallah (WLW): "Why madam..we can't talk here! Please come to my clinic."
Myself: "Why the hell would i do that? How dare you ask me to enroll for your program?"
WLW: "No madam, you are obese and you must reduce weight."
Myself: "I am happy the way I AM!"
WLW: "No no...please change your diet here, you can eat anything you want to!"
Myself: "Who said i am gluttonous? I know what to eat and what not to eat. You just mind your business. Next time i see you selling your clinic anywhere on this road, i am going to sue you!" ( By now my volume has almost gone to monstrous levels with curious onlookers and a traffic policeman rushing to clear the commotion!)
WLW: retreating slowly- "I just asked if you could enroll here. It is not an offence..."
Myself: "In that case, you created a public nuisance by talking indecently to a lady...come let us go to the nearest police station!"
WLW: No words...kick starts his bike and rushes in full throttle.

The traffic policeman gives me a big friendly smile, his large tummy dancing! We are both in the same side- the heavier side! The onlookers move on, disappointed at a no show. I reached home fuming and in a definitely foul mood. I tried looking at the full length mirror in my bedroom and i feel, i am certainly not that obese...Phew! People these days have the wrong opinion of seeing plump women as obese. May be the size zero factor has an important role to play here. I really feel pathetic when i see pencil thick legs draped in jeans when i visit a mall- poor girls...they are just a bag of bones! And if there is one breakfast that annoys me the most- it is corn flakes! If i ever get to lay my hands on the man who invented breakfast cereals, i am going to gouge his eyes out! PONG! Period!

My poor sister in law once enrolled in a slimming program that required her to weigh her cornflakes- only 80 grams! And it was 50 ml of rice with 100 ml veggies for lunch. I can never ever think of a pure vegan diet- i'd rather die and be buried. End of story. Recently i went to our obstetrician ( again read- 'obese'trician) who advised me to control my weight. "If you are obese, you will end up with diabetes, high blood pressure and your children might not take care of you if you are sick in your old age", she chided. Exercise regularly- yes, very good doctor, i would love to, but who gives me the time? She said- where there is will, there is a way! By the way, doctor dear, who is this Will? And why must he give me way to lose my weight?

I can never diet, i do not find time for exercise and i am happy the way i am. So will the world shut up and move on with something that is more important than my 76 kgs frame? Next time anyone is going to sell weight loss program, slimming center, fat loss powder, heat therapy, fluid extraction or any other such programs, think twice before approaching me. I am a fat-fanatic!

P.S.: Wondering if 76 kgs is overweight and obese for a 5 ft 2 inches person?
P.P.S: Even if it is overweight, i give a damn! Excuse me for this ranting;)


  1. Come on CN! As long us you are comfortable with your weight, it is ok. Let us have our own walking schedule, to make ourself brisk and fit! Overweight always be a problem during late forties, brings so many complications, not limited to joint pain, cholesterol level, Sugar level, BP etc..

    Most of the weight losing courses are fake, people used to recover their own weight in a couple of months after the weight losing program with normal diet, irrespective how much they spend on this!

    You know, as far as our soul is clean and happy, we grow in size! Poor slim girls! Need to know whether they are really happy, except maintining their hip sizes! They end up with big breath on us!

    True, we miss to live today for the sake of tomorrow! However, hates on for your confidence level!

  2. What a shameless way of promoting your business! Huh, disgusting...
    And yes, one must eat what one likes but everything must be in control.
    I am a bit underweight, though I eat full meals, I need to take a few of those extra kilos off you!!!
    Have a fabulous week ahead:)

  3. Hheheheh Even I like myself the way I am. Plum I am but my guy likes me, my parents love me so why to bother!!! hehehe

    Okie but I must admit, sometimes certain things I want to wear do not look good on me and that is when i throw a tantrum and everyone runs away!

    I am going to start gymming this week. Yes I shall!

    Awesome narration madam, I am glad you had the conversation with that idiotic guy. How dare he!!

  4. hahaha... all i can say is well done. :-)

  5. hmm....thats my kind a go girl.....

  6. @ Janaki- Thank you dear. Hope you are understanding where i am coming to- let us have our inner self happy and clean, that is what matters!

    @ Arti- Thanks for the comment. You are underweight??? Boy, would i love to transfer those extra kilos to you:P

    @ Redhanded- Hey Red, thanks for being here. It is great to have a guy who loves you the way you are:) You are lucky! And gymming from this week? Good step! I think on these lines every New Year's Eve;)

  7. @ Mayank- Thanks mate! I did well, you must have seen the guy's face:P

    @ Thinking- Happy! Thank you dear:)

  8. Everybody in the world knows how they look and its consequences or limitations!! Adults are old enough to make their decision to stay how they want. But for a third person to talk to a stranger to market his clinic was definitely out of line! It is a materialistic world we live in, what to do! There is nothing we can do about it! Atleast you gave him a mouthful so he knows his manners next time with other people!

  9. With this one piece,you have adeptly won a horde of fans who are slightly plump and stodgy with your clarion call that it is fine to be what one is.At the same time you have earned the wrath of all pencil legs that strut in ramp shows looking famished for years with sunken cheeks and hollow eyes.
    I am not on your side regarding cereals for they are good with lots of nuts and dry fruits thrown in along with sliced banana in the milk to be follwed by regullar breakfast of idly/dosa.
    I am with Caesar when he said
    "Let me have men about me that are fat,
    Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.
    Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
    He thinks too much; such men are dangerous."

    Thanks CN.You made me smile.

  10. I am in a fix - should I agree with you and say people should learn to mind their business. As long as you are happy - should you care!

    I know how annoying unsolicited advice is. But I am sure they are mostly from your well wishers.

    Once you accept there exists a problem the rest will follow easily :)

  11. Proud of you .... more power to your elbow.
    I am so glad you said this. Revel in your health not weight.

  12. Loved it!!! Arguably one of your best! I used to be 62 kgs but over 2 years reduced it to 54 kgs-just exercise and healthy eating. But as you say, what is wrong with being Fat? My husband has threatened me that if I become any thinner he will divorce me- his point being that South Indian men love plump women. I think size zero thing is very very unhealthy. If we can control our weight so that our diabetes and BP are in check I guess it should be fine. I am a little worried about my wt coz my mother used to be really fat and the result - high BP and dibetes. I think it is a myth-this being slim thing. Look at the olden days actresses- they were fat and had a huge fan following both among men and women! So next time you see that WLW -give him a kick from my side too!

  13. You know I'm nearly your height too & surrounded by all skinny ladies.But when I hit gym I scared off all aunties there! :P
    They were like why the heck are you in here anyway?
    I'm left confused if am overweight or anyway bye bye to gym it was!I'm only unhappy with my figure when I try on that size 26 miniskirt my boyfriend gifted me.. :P

  14. Thanks for making smile! I surely do enjoy reading your posts.
    It is surely disgusting if anyone would stop and advice us regarding our weight. While i do agree with the 'obese'trician, it is difficult to sustain the exercise regime.

    Looking forward for more .

  15. Hey that reminds me so much of the L&M whose losing battle with weight-watching is legendary. Don't worry about your weight, as long as you are active and feel fit. And do read

  16. Imagine me only 5 feet with loads of weight. But why bother, till you are healthy...I have friends who diet and they can't do regular chores. Love the way you are:)

  17. @ Anonymous- Thanks a ton for your comment:) What irked me was his offhanded behaviour! I know i am over weight, but to be stopped in a traffic signal and advised on weight loss- ridiculous!

    @ KP- Great quote of Caesar here! And i know most of us in cities are probably on the heavier side for lack of exercise. I prefer my idlis/ dosas to cereals...Cereals make my work easy in sleepy mornings, but still, there is no equivalent to a plate of steaming hot idlis accompanied by coconut chutney, tomato chutney, coriander chutney and a luxurious dip of sambar;) What say?:P

  18. @ Purba- thank you for your comment. There IS a problem, okay, i got it now! So, shall try to solve it soon, may be do a wee bit of walking regularly from now on....hopefully.

    @ Alka- YO YO! Revel in our good health, not brood over weight. So long as i am myself happy and i make my surroundings happy- why should i bother about the weight?:)

  19. @ Meera- WOW!! You're lucky to have a husband who feels Southie women must be plump as usual;) Don't know if my husband would say this! How did you reduce 8 kgs in 2 years? Just simple exercise and diet alone? What kind of exercise? Just walking or fast workouts? Kindly let me know:) And shall sure remember adding one kick extra to the WLW gentleman;)

    @ Rinaya- LOL Rinaya! I can imagine the looks on the ladies ( aunties) seeing you in the gym;) Why fret if you are happy the way you are? And your guy must be implying you ought to reduce more weight when he chooses 26;) Thanks for your comment dear!


  20. @ LKrupaa- Thanks for your thoughtful comment. It is indeed hard to stick onto the exercise regimen. I always have my exercise program as a New Year resolution and end up doing nothing by the year end:P

    @ Zephyr- Gee thanks! I am fit as a fiddle and feel great. So no worries on the extra kilos;) Shall sure visit your post.

  21. @ Saru- A big Thank You! I am not a solitary reaper here:P Seems you too must have had trying times earlier. So, be happy, don't you worry, it is!

  22. Oh sister, so sad.. That weight loss wallah is rocking.. and I think you should go for it.. Let me know the tips to gain weight.. :-)

    Someone is Special

  23. I have also put on weight in the last few months, and nothing that i have been doing is helping me reduce. However Doctor says I am fine, and since I am in my fifties, I am going through hormonal changes, and once things settle down, I may see my weight coming down with regular diet and exercises, which has been part of my life for years.
    You know once you start losing weight, it kind of feels good, the stomach being used to eating less gets shrunk and doesn't crave for extras, and you become very healthy hardly falling sick, for your immune system becomes well tuned, there are many advantages of being fit.
    You see although I have put on about 6 kilos in the past few months, I am very fit, so you see losing weight doesn't mean pencil thin, and you would have noticed not all yoga masters are thin, yet they are very healthy.
    By the way, I agree with you, that the fellow is shameless. And he wasn't doing you a favor by trying to sell you such rubbish. All these people are into money making business, their intentions are never good.
    You to will find a way to reduce, not to please anyone, but for your own self.

  24. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  25. Hey SiS- ideas to gain weight? You must be kidding! Be happy the way you are:)

    @ Rama- Thanks for the comment. I totally agree with you when you say it is good to exercise. Shall sure try to chalk out an exercise regimen out of my limited time:) So long as you are fit and healthy, there is nothing to worry about weight gain, right?;)

  26. LoL, some guts he has.
    And cheers!! As long as we are confident about what we are made of, I don't give two hoots about how much I weigh:)
    And double cheers to being 5 2":D

  27. @ Dipz- thanQ girl- for the visit and comment. Welcome to my blog:)

    @ Pee Vee- Welcome to my blog:)) Yayyy!!! A double cheers from me too- 5'2"!

  28. Clap ! Clap! Around of applause for this piece of writing.:)

  29. My god look at the people and their desperate way of getting customers.

    Same thing happened with my friend. We were sitting in a coffee shop and a guy came up to her like this giving a card. However, she let him go and dint react much.

    But this is unacceptable.

    P.S. You are overweight. But you should do what keeps you happy.

    I am a fitness freak and to lose weight you don’t have to be on a vegan diet. Rather you need to increase your protein intake with boiled eggs and chicken and hit the gym. XOXO.

  30. Thanks a ton for your comment Megha! Welcome to my blog. I would love to hit the gym, but there is huge time constraint. Shall give a try, though:)

  31. How dare he is??? you should have given him a strong slap....but i enjoyed reading i mean the way you narrate the incident...pls take it in a positive way!!!

  32. Dear Bhindu, thanks for the comment. Yes, i must have slapped him:) And am taking it definitely positive- i eat more:P

  33. Your incredible! totally inspired and ready to start my own journey… Thanks for the post!? Your awesome!!


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