Tuesday 26 July 2011

Falling in love- again and again!

She waits at the airport's car park, seated restlessly in her car. The hand- held mirror works overtime, depicting flaws in eye shadow and powder coat missing in her nose. As she powders her nose, her thoughts go back to the last time she saw him, pushing the luggage trolley towards the exit gates. She has the grit to smile and wave till the last moment his perfectly chiseled face disappears as a distant blur. Then sting the tears that she successfully hides behind her sun shades that trail down her cheeks, crossing the barriers. She is nocturnal- her nights are always longer than her days. Not clubbing, but just reminiscing, weaving myriad dreams of future with him. 

Days are always busy with chores that extend beyond horizon to be finished. It is the nights that bring back memories, memories taken out of a few happiest chapters from her life. Her first walk holding hands with him in the rain drenched evening, the early morning coffees with her swinging in the bamboo swing and him sitting on the patio steps- all remain etched somewhere in her memory that boasts of volumes of sweet nothings through the past nine years. The rough stubble on his chin, the contours of his crafted face, the eyes that always twinkle with love...she does miss him, alright!

Her thoughts are broken by the announcement from the PA system. Its time. She smooths her frizzed hair and steps out in the scorching sun. Tens of anxious faces wait outside the entry and she joins the troupe. The roving eyes narrow down on that shock of dark hair and weather beaten face. Her face lights up like a lone lamp in the dark. Was he so tall? She tries to search her memory card for data and fails. He does look very drawn and thin, she thinks to herself. As he draws near, she can feel the magnetism drawing her to him, she wishes she were just a kid. The children dash towards him shouting- " Appa!" and she holds her back tightly holding on to the hand rails. She mentally snaps his smile, to be stacked away in the Memory folder for use later and slips her hand to hold his strong, work calloused palm. 


The car is booming with the kids' baubles and laughs. The duo exchange a few knowing glances and smile in silence. Her hand still holding his, they revel the silent togetherness. The thirty days granted as life rushes by in fast track, with numerous trips and travels. The day of packing arrives and the pickles and powders sit silently, watching the last few hours of muted packing. The stuffed suitcase is heavy like her heart, ready to explode any moment. She is hard as a rock, never breaking up in adversity. Calmly resigned to affliction, the last night ticks by. All she can hear is the peaceful snoring of him- her man and the slow piling of tears in the corner of her eyes. 





Eleven months of wooing, skyping and yahoo chats for hours together...she discovers and rediscovers love- once a year. She longs for that cup of coffee on the swing, that long walk holding hands, that gentle snoring on the other side of the bed, the strong shoulders that she loves to lean on, the slow heart breaking smile every morning on waking up and the occasional stolen kisses. All she now has in store for her are eleven more months of solitude- to fall in love again. Hopelessly falling in love again and again, she is now resigned to her fate. So are the tens of thousands of women who send off their husbands to deserts in the Gulf every year, after a month's leave. Cupid strikes every year, falling in love was never so painful, yet beautiful...



22 comments:

  1. Oh how i totally get this one
    Especially in Kerala every woman can feel it
    Loved the usage of words and expressions was perfect!

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  2. Dear Redhanded...Yes, women in Kerala MUST relate a lot to this post. They are the ones that suffer this fate, seeing off their husbands to far off lands. Glad you liked the post:)

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  3. Nivedita, I too loved this post of yours. Your words reminded me of this quote:
    "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin
    Yes indeed love is painful yet beautiful...

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  4. needs to think b4 postng a comment.(as it s a complicated area). how ever one thing can be "pakkathula irukkum podhu manushalukku mariadhai kammi".... even seperation by time/distance/mass teaches you what lov is then ..."THOORAMUM Nallathu silanerangalil..."

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  5. hi nive...nice one...i think now a days ur writings reflect more abt human emotions. perfectly captured the mindset of women whose hubby in a far away land.all the best.

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  6. Dear Rama, thanks for the comment. Yes, we always fall in love with the same person again and again:)

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  7. Thanks anonymous, you agree to my post this time:)True, distances keep love undying...it can be otherwise too:P

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  8. Dear Ramnath, thanks for the comment. Happy you like the subtle transformation. Thank you for the complement:)

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  9. Oh my god! I can completely relate to this!! I have seen this happen to my parents for almost a life time!! And now I am going to marry someone who's working in the Arabian Sands! I hope this is not our fate! Hoping to have all the good and bad times of our life together!!

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  10. Glad she still can long for and be with the same person and re-invent her love for the same person again and again for the rest of her life, no matter what!Yep distance in a relationship teaches you how badly you miss the person who always is with you, only when they are away. Not all people have the luxury of waiting for that one person whom they love to be reunited once a year atleast! All of these are part and parcel of being a middle class orthodox so called high morale Indian !!!

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  11. Lovely post!!! I hate good byes!! The success of a good marriage lies in taking all this in one's stride and thinking of the good times when one is alone. I know I can NEVER do it and hope I dont have to do it. But you have only told one side of this story of longing - what about his side ? In some foreign land where there are no kids or family to keep the lonely hours filled?

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  12. Oh dear Cindrella...Sad you too belong to that ilk:((( Hope your Prince Charming spends each living minute with you together and you both live happily ever after- a perfect fairy tale marriage. Wish you good luck:)

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  13. Hey Anonymous- absolutely stunning comment hitting on the nail...Yes, typical middle class orthodox Indian average female wedded to a NRI Gulf husband's story... Happy you understand the nuances well:)

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  14. Perfect Meera! You can read through one's mind so easily. Very unnerving, indeed, hahaha! Yes, story from the other side too is not so rosy, you may be knowing it;)

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  15. Your post reminds me of a certain footage that was on the news recently, when the Somalian prisoners came home, a few of them. The wife was so happy, and yet, unhappy. She said she won't ever let him enter the sea again.

    Nice post.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  16. Dear BA, glad you could relate this story to the news. Thanks for the comment:)

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  17. that was so beatifully penned....loved it.....relates o life easily

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  18. just found your blog
    love it!

    Check out my new post.: Lost sommer
    Would love to have you as a follower.

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  19. hmmm....very nicely put...

    I do undertand the feelings of all those women....hats off to them....

    hmmm....nice post !

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  20. Dear Madrasi, thanks for the comment and visit.

    Dear Fashiongamble, welcome to my blog:)

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  21. Hi Adiya, welcome to my blog

    Hi Thinking, glad you could understand their feelings:)

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