Wednesday 16 March 2011

Letter from Kuppamma to Netas...


Pic courtesy google search

Vanakkam, sir. We live in a compound. It is a compound because scores of people compound and jumble in tiny cubicles called 'houses'. The doors and windows are old, probably more than a century-old. They creak and squeak, the main door of our house is unlockable(!) and unbreakable. Our house is single bedroom house- no, no,not the one bedroom, hall, kitchen style villa, but the entire house is a bedroom. A tiny kerosene stove and a few bottles form our kitchen in a corner. There are a few mats rolled in a corner that serves as a bedroom and the area where you enter is our hall, furnished with a single chair with two broken legs. The rats outnumber members of our family, which is nonetheless not less than a dozen. My husband is a die-hard Rajini fan, so see, we too release a newbie every year! The most prized possession of our house is however our TV- Kalaignaruku Nandri! We have a new colour TV, thanks to the DMK which has distributed free TVs for every home. Sadly, their own cable goons pocket a hundred rupees per month as cable charges. And we are yet to receive that free gas stove, free house and free 2 acre land dear CM!


Cut out!
Pic courtesy- google search
Our dress collection includes all the free sarees and dhoties supplied by Amma. We wish Amma is elected to power soon, our iron trunk box wardrobe needs an overhaul. Or may be we should wait for DMK and ADMK agents to throw free sarees and dhoties at midnight. We never lock our main door, hoping something free might land up in the midnight. Its like a Christmas visit by Santas, oops...Netas. We keep our standard yellow cloth bag outside the house and eagerly await the gifts of the Election Season! Netas like you, do visit our homes, once in five years when the election festival begins. You crouch and bow begging for our votes. Murals of Ammas and Aiyas decorate our compound walls which need a year's downpour to wash them away. Festooned with little flags and waving handbills, our children enjoy a month of frenzied electionomania. Banners torn by wind help us in plugging holes on the tiled roof of our house. How many banners ever we try to pick up, they are simply not enough to cover up. And the cut outs! How can we forget them?  Parties pay my son money to climb on 40 feet cut outs of Netas to pour milk and to garland! It is fifty rupees for each climb and my son earns a few bucks in this season, other than Rajini movie releases...

Oh how did i forget to tell about the 500 rupees? Our 500 rupee note- the prized catch of election season is due to arrive any time soon. I wish we lived in Thirumangalam- where MK Alagiri's agents handed out 5000 rupees for a vote. How i wish my dozen kids grow up fast- we could get 6000 rupees every election! You see, there is nothing wrong in giving us a wee-bit of money what the Netas stole from us, right? And then there is the chicken biriyani on election day! So yummy, we get to taste that biriyani once in five years. By-elections always sounds good, a little of biriyani once a year might be great! Oh...there are these biriyanis whenever there are party conferences and " maanadus" where we are herded in lorries. I must say, all parties are so generous when it comes to biriyanis and liquor. They are in full supply during the elections that my husband is always madly drunk...DMK, ADMK, PMK, DMDK, MDMK, who worries what MK it is? All we are worried about is the biriyani and quarter;) By the way- what is this Wikki Leaky thing? Some leaking tap, i think. You know, we always stuff leaky taps with old disposed clothes. Why not someone try to close that leaking tap? Are we going to lose a few sarees, dhoties, biriyani, liquor and 500 rupees because of a leaking tap? Ridiculous! I hope our Netas fix it fast and start supplying the freebies soon. Elections are round the corner. Any help in fixing the tap might be available from Karthi Chidambaram and MK Alagiri!

10 comments:

  1. hmmm,.. running a govt is a very big biz. starts from
    1.Road COntract
    2.PWD contrct,tenders
    3.Govt postings (whic helps local politicans )
    4.sand quarry
    5.Purchase of coal for our pwr plnts(AT a much higher rate to MKT Rate)
    6.Relese of GOVT ads in fmily TV and papers
    7.Dwelling some thing inside the sea fr 5-6 yrs , swallowing 1000+crs and to produce no results
    8.To construct some bridges where ever un-necessary (for 50-100 CR). take home 30 cR. In tvli vannarpt bridge is supposed to be East-West whic has more traffic. but not to disturb the ppl it ws built s-W whic hardly recieves vehicles.
    7.at the height of pwr shortage ...to drw power from transformers for party meeting(THEY CALL it KOKKI)
    8.If theoppostion takes powr .. famly bizwill be affected

    For all these they hav to gain powr .
    To gain pwr they have to do all this
    1.Rs.10000/ Vote
    2.free bie promises

    So whom, to blame and whom not to blame.

    and the central govt too is of much fancy
    So letter frm KUPPAMMA we're not in a position to not to listen YOU>>>>

    ReplyDelete
  2. GREAT!!!! You forgot the fact that Kuppamma may be belonging to a Self Help Group ( Sua Udavi Kuzhu) and be made to wear a uniform saree along with her kuzhu members and come for a manadu...! What about the risks that her sons/ grandsons might face should something happen to their "beloved" leaders? They would have to do " Thee Kuli" either voluntarily or be killed and then glorified as having commited suicide for a cause...! Poor Kuppamma what a life - nothing but Re 1 rice and tear jerker serials to live on...!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cloud Nine - You are super fast in bringing new blog posts.

    This one is a good satire on our elections. With freebies thrown in, I am not sure if anybody will vote for the Jago party in India.

    ReplyDelete
  4. HI,very good writeup.... paying for votes are not any thing new...its been there right from day we started electing representatives. but what is colourful in tamilandu is its the mixture of netas, babus, filmi zeros ..sorry heros and ofcourse underworld. this makes tn election as an unique one and had got the 'distinction' of being observed by world's biggest dada (US)

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Anonymous- Thanks for your elaborate comment! How much ever they deceive us, we have a liking to our Netas;) We can't simply let go off them. And do they earn only 1000+cr? What about the balance?

    @ Meera- Thanks a lot for your precious time and comment. Poor Kuppamma...I agree with what you say on Womens' SHG and the uniform. I had the opportunity to visit a meeting. Except the uniform, snacks and tea, nothing else really happened there:( Haaaaaaa...that Re.1 rice...i forgot that totally:(

    @ Brown Vagabond- Thanks a lot for your comment and time. Voting is our basic right, we are the ones that keep democracy afloat, so we must vote- of course, get all freebies and vote for the good ones:)

    @ Ramnath- Thanks a lot for your wonderful comment!We are always used to do things in ishhhhhtyle- starting from Super star to Sappa star;)So, our elections are indeed a celebration!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Anonymous- Thanks for your elaborate comment! How much ever they deceive us, we have a liking to our Netas;) We can't simply let go off them. And do they earn only 1000+cr? What about the balance?

    @ Meera- Thanks a lot for your precious time and comment. Poor Kuppamma...I agree with what you say on Womens' SHG and the uniform. I had the opportunity to visit a meeting. Except the uniform, snacks and tea, nothing else really happened there:( Haaaaaaa...that Re.1 rice...i forgot that totally:(

    @ Brown Vagabond- Thanks a lot for your comment and time. Voting is our basic right, we are the ones that keep democracy afloat, so we must vote- of course, get all freebies and vote for the good ones:)

    @ Ramnath- Thanks a lot for your wonderful comment!We are always used to do things in ishhhhhtyle- starting from Super star to Sappa star;)So, our elections are indeed a celebration!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I hate the way they make so many,Oh, so many plastic flags to decorate the whole town/city with, and the horrible cutouts each one trying to out do the other, then they build temporary Arbors with wobbly poles along the roads it is all awful. After the tamasha , all these things made out of plastics, keep flying all over the road, and all the mess they leave behind is terrible. They have no idea how to dispose off all these plastics, which continues to pollute our earth. These politicians are a disgusting lot.
    I can't understand why again and again these Kuppaammas keep going to all these meetings just to get some things which are very temporary, which is of no use in the long run, even if we try to educate such people they will never realize or boycott such shameless people. Our nation seems to be doomed for ever, there is not even a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Such a wonderful post! Freebies are really sick, hopefully people think before they vote this time. You know what? You have inspired me for a new post! Thanks for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I always wanted to know more about this culture.
    I'm in a Buenos Aires apartments because the city has too much cultural life to offer!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks for your comment Christopher- you can know more about this culture by visiting them once...

    ReplyDelete

Hey, just let me know your feedback:)