Sunday, 19 December 2010

Story of X and his ex- neofeminism in India

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Picture of Indian woman- depicting how they are today, techno, all business,but without moral values?

He was a marvelous human being, ready to help out anyone under any situation. He had a ready smile for everyone, was always accommodating and was the most gentle and soft person I ever came across. Irony, he got married to a feminist or rather I should call a F- word specialist, lets call her Mrs X. She was a downright feminist, no problem with that, but excessive feminism always renders problems in a relationship. She never disclosed her work place to him, never gave him a penny of her pay and he did not even know her bank account number though they lived under the same roof. Her main complaint was “their wave lengths did not match”. I wonder why wave length between a husband and wife would not match who had six months time o decide about their marriage. He was brought up under a very conservative family and she was brought up in a household where she was probably the ‘ruler’ of the home.

Of course all of us women are ‘rulers’ of the people’s hearts in our home before setting foot in our inlaws’ place. Where do we end up there depends on our upbringing and personal values. For Mrs X, all she wanted was probably his five figure salary, nothing else. She refused to go out with him, refused to dine with him, and most irritatingly, they never had started a familylife as a husband and wife. X was very patient with her for almost a year.That’s when things started to go from bad to worse when she had numerous friends( all males) who used to call her up after . Eventually, living in the same house, they stopped uttering even a word to each other, she cooked for her alone and he ate in hotels or wherever he could find food. After much struggle, he managed to get a nod for separation from her, only after he paid her five lakh rupees for her simple signature to get a mutual divorce. If this is not torture by a woman, what else is? But for him it was too late, the trauma and repeated fastings led him to ulcer. His remarriage too took place to an understanding kind girl and they were living happily. Alas, this was not a fairy tale to be.

His second wife was pregnant 5 months when disaster struck, his ulcer had now grown to a fullblown stomach cancer, stage 4. His last days were bitter, spent in reclusion and hatred. This girl bore the brunt of a feminist’s excessive behaviour. X died 4 months later, never had a chance to look at the face of his daughter. Whose fault is it now? This girl, left with a daughter is now struggling for her very survival, whereas the so called feminist Ex had got the ticket and visa to US with her divorce money and is living happily overseas.

I wonder what is the importance the younger generation girls attach to the institution of marriage. Freedom for women is a two-edged dagger that has to be dealt with caution. More freedom they get, they become insatiable. I am not a misogynist, but I would like some restraint on the hippie new gen X women in Indian cities who smoke, drink, freak out, have casual sex. Now talking sex is a taboo in our culture, but is that fine when our girls end up with casual sex? Where is the love and affection? Are they missing the subtlety of romance and the happiness of  sacrifice? I am totally disappointed with the cyber savvy, techno crazy, feministic Gen X women.

This is what Dr Prithika Chary has to say about women drinking...

Freedom is what we get to nurture ourselves positively, not to doom our ownselves in alcohol and money. Freedom is not to punish the men, it is to live amicably with them. Who can give us X back? Whom shall the little one call a father?

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