Adjusting the rear view mirror, I smile. The smile grows to a knowing smirk as I slow down deliberately to look at the spectacle. One more four wheeled visiting card! This game of reading and pondering at the subtle hints and admiring the guts of the propagandists, allures me as usual. Right from the absurd ‘ ondi karuppu thunai’ to the atrocious ‘kiss me’ stencilled on the glass panes of cars, the new gamut of globe-trotting Indians never fail to amuse me.
And boy they are a funny lot- a mixed bag of lunatics. One professes his undying passion for cricket with Sachin written across and there is one who proffers his love for his mom-‘ mom’s gift’! Once in a while I do come across the name of the owner complete with qualification. Here it goes- ‘ Senthil, MA., BL. OK, Mr. Senthil, we know you depleted your daddy’s hard earned money finishing that law degree. But I ain’t no advocate to appoint you as my assistant! For Heaven’s sake, use your degree in your visiting card. Not at the 50 cmx 50 cm space at the back of your poor car...
Let’s forgive Mr. Senthil this once, how about Mr. Hari, who thinks his only achievement in life are his off springs- here goes his car with sticker that reads- Hari, Banu, Janu. So far so nice, Mr. Hari. But what is the crime Jimmy committed? How dare you omit his name? Just because he bit off your ex’s right toe, mistaking it for a coveted bone, you omitted his name from the car name list. How could you?? So mean, so very mean…and by the way, I know why you named your daughter Banu…wink*!
There is one more breed- the devouts. Religion is so important that they forget cars run on fuel. The cars they drive run on ‘spiritual’ ahem…petrol. The trust these fanatics place on their gods and goddesses can put hermits and sages to shame. The trust they place on their Supremes is so great that all they want to see when hit by a truck is a shortcut to God that is written on the front windshield. When they are hit, they can just double click on the ‘ Bannari Amman Thunai’ written on the front window with their opening cranium and reach the Lotus feet of Lord! Wow…what a short cut! The funniest of these is of course “Bodyguard Muneeswaran thunai”. Now can you beat that? Do I say other religions don’t profess their profound love for God? Yes, they do.
It was 2am and I was fast asleep along with the other occupants of the car. There is a loud thud…car grunts to a knowing rhythm and I am wide awake looking at the QUEEN OF ANGELS sticker of my car. My subconscious sees the off white, budget- costumed angels flapping their wings and pulling me up as the high budget, milk white, Vera Wang- clad Queen of Angels sporting a pout at me! Thankfully they realised it was the wrong car seeing the rosary hanging above my head and faded away. Wasn’t I saved by the sticker? Tell me, folks* wink*!!
And how do you tell the world that you are taken? Paint it in your car, of course! “I love Nandini” appears as a bolt out of the blue, definitely an upgrade from proclamations in the train toilets! How do you call for potential applicants? Simple- stencil your bbm number on your car’s back or your mobile number with funky names- ‘lover boy’ or ‘romance king’ complete with a heart logo pierced with an arrow ;) Oh! The lasses come tumbling down at your feet. Don’t forget to write the ultimate dialogue- ‘hypothecated to- State Bank of India’. Oh dear…we know your CIBIL rating thanks to your car proclamations! Do you have to tell the entire world you own an air conditioned car? No, you know pretty well the whole wide world owns AC cars. But there are morons who still think they are Bill Gates and stencil in huge font- A/C...
Next time you see a car zipping past, check the windshields. Will jolly good bring you a smile ;) What best could you get in life while waiting for someone or whiling away time in a small walk? Let the windshields bring you happiness!
p.s.: I am afraid I have become extremely lazy with my blog...but do i care? Nah!
p.p.s.: I am in the process of learning how to survive in a Government Organisation, amid all the politics and back stabbing. Boy! looks like a game of chess where you are playing the white and every other person you come across making a check-mate! Phew! Makes me sick :(
p.p.p.s.: Valentine's Day fast approaching and this is a reminder...ahem...I know you are reading this post honey ;) Awaiting your gift :P