We Indians have serious issues when it comes to addressing strangers. The best bet is to call someone 'sir' or 'madam'. The 'sir' becomes 'saaaaaar' to South Indians, ' sher' to North Indians...We tend to pronounce the word with our regional colors. Here comes the list of most irritating ways to address a person, not necessarily in the same order!
1. A- word adolescents:
The blood boils in every cell...the tension is palpable as he lingers along the counter, awaiting my reply. That is when the canine in me wakes up and makes a plunge, i almost bark, seething in anger-"I am not your aunty, just call me madam". Bewildered, he looks at me again, a five foot frame draped in a cotton salwar with dupatta pinned up chin high, sindoor, few stary hairs and of course, a few extra pounds...May be age is related to weight, so how is it to be called when you are a mere thirty two, by a half crazy adolescent? Anna and his cadres, please call for a fast to delete the word "Aunty" from Websters'.
2. Crappy clappers:
This is one tribe definitely different. You can find them on random roadsides. They usually spring into action when you drop something unknowingly and walk on. They clap and clap till their palms become red and the whole area turns toward them. As he hands over the stuff he had picked up on the sidewalk, you feel like smacking him on his back for letting the whole wide world know that you are idiotic and irresponsible. Dumbhead probably clapped all his life for others! And this clapping might be of heavenly use when you are awaiting an auto rickshaw. The louder you clap, the easier auto walah will hear you rather than the hefty woman on the opposite pavement's meek wave of hands.
3. Whistle bloopers:
These are the most annoying ones. We can safely exclude the bus conductors from this ilk, but must add the indecent monkeys jumping in front of movie screens in any movie hall. Well, the tribe do exist now, though their number is dwindling fast, thankfully! I feel like biting off the fingers that whoosh in and out of that ugly mouth...And i love glaring at the traffic constable who whistles and gestures every lady in the vicinity to move her vehicle behind the Lakshman Rekha! These whistle bloopers deserve a special punishment, we could chop their tongues off!!!
4. Coin tappers:
Have you ever went to some office and tapped on the glass counter with coins when the clerk is busy on a call? This is how it feels when you are on the other side- you feel like snatching the coin away and bang the person's head right on the glass! The sound of coins tapped on the counter glass or granite top is definitely not sweet, i say...
We definitely lack etiquette and manners when behaving in public. We like to tap, clap, whistle and christen anyone Aunty! I almost forgot my real name, being called aunty a hundred times a day. No more forgiveness. Next person calls me an aunty is going to be slaughtered, that is for sure!
P.S. - I have been quite busy with my brother's ensuing wedding and not so regular with the posts,
please excuse. Don't care!
P.P.S.- Does the word "uncle" irks men more? I would like to know;)
P.P.P.S.- I scolded someone in my office today for jumping the queue- literally "jumping" a row of chairs and he was 46 years old!! Imagine his face when i called out on the mike- " Sir, you are 46, please don't jump"!!!
P.P.P.P.S.- Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all fellow bloggers and readers:)