Friday 4 November 2011

Whispers...

This incident happened way back in 1994 when i was in my senior schooling years. We went on a youth camp to a remote village in Andhra- TN border and really had the best time of our life. Playing games, pranks, competitions and dances i just felt wonderful after a long time. One morning we had a renown psychiatrist addressing us. There we sat, listening carefully what he had to say about concentrating on studies and later on the topic moved to the various distractions we had when we studied. It was then suddenly pushed to the topic of premarital sex. I could feel the air bristle with tension when students put anonymous questions on sexuality, contraceptives and premarital affairs.

A small town girl who left to study in the city, ( you can watch the same scene in many Bollywood and Kollywood movies!)  i felt pretty awful and embarrassed to be discussing these issues in an open circle. And i was shocked, you can say shell shocked listening to the questions raised. My idea of sex and sexuality was limited to watching movies and reading Millsandboon strictly!

Cartoon courtesy- voicesofyouth.com


The embarrassment continued when we, the girls, were supplied with sanitary napkins by a manufacturer. Hijacking the solitary napkin in the secret pocket of my uniform salwar was by itself an adventure! Giggling and whispering, we safely transported it, hiding from the prying eyes of the guys of the class. I still remember vividly how we girls shifted a girl from our class to the ladies restroom who had spoiled her dress...the hushed tones, the sweat and the shivering hands! And why would these sanitary napkins be named- Hush, whisper, private, intimacy???


And how the world has changed today? Discussing sex is not considered a taboo anymore, as is evident now. And 'transporting' a sanitary pad is not an arduous task. Amma and her ilk are going to supply them free of cost to all female students in schools through teachers- errrr...come again, teachers, you said? So, from now on, teachers would be distributing notebooks and sanitary pads...What a novel idea! Freebies starting from sanitary napkins to mixers, grinders and cows, goats??? Children these days are more intelligent than us, they are swift learners when it comes to sexuality than algebras and theorems. Sex education in schools was a much discussed issue during my school days and now it has fizzled out. CBSE holds sex education as an optional subject and i wonder if anything worthwhile is taught in schools. And at times i myself am confused what is to be taught to our teens- safe sex or abstinence? 

The Maharashtra Government has banned sex education in all schools, citing reasons it 'corrupts' the children. I wouldn't say that is wise, because if classrooms don't teach them, our idiot boxes and peer circles will do that- nefariously! A friend lamented once that her five year old daughter wanted to know what that blue liquid being absorbed in a napkin was- seeing a TV commercial. She was too stunned to reply. But is that a solution? It is better we take kids to our side and explain what is required for them to be known for their age, depending on their maturity levels. Who would be a better teacher than us, parents- their first teachers?

19 comments:

  1. This is a very relevant issue that you have raised. During our time "sex' was the taboo word! We tried to learn what we could from our bio lessons but really bio teaches us human reproduction along with asexual and sexual reproduction !Sex often remains a mystery because most young people are not oriented on it. It should find its way out of the world of shrouded whispers and children should be encouraged to discuss it with responsible adults like parents and teachers. It is a natural part of life and it is only very "screwed up" people like the Maharashtra government who think it should not be discussed!!!

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  2. Dear Meera, i was really worried if i was testing troubled waters when there was absolutely no comment on this post for a long time! When it comes to discussing sexuality in open forums, people have their own unnecessary inhibitions, which they ought to shed. We aren't the same old nation rife with snake charmers and swamis. There is much more lateral thinking. We gave the world Susruta, Vatsyayana and our ancient temples brim with sexual scriptures, paintings and sculptures...What irks me is why we seldom discuss it, especially to our children. Why should they learn things the hard way? I am happy that you commented here, straight from your heart! Thanks a ton!

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  3. There are too many misconceptions surrounding sex. It's better if we educate our kids and maintain an open communication channel with them!

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  4. @ Purba- very true. Maintaining a friendly relationship with kids might help us keep the communication channel intact. Thanks for the comment!

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  5. I agree with Purba! Discussing things with children and putting it for them in the right manner can certainly solve many a problems later! Nice thoughtful post CN.

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  6. A very imaginative post! Parents are the best guides as Purba rightly said in this world of explosion of information which sometimes may not be appropriate at a certain age!

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  7. I remember three girls from some BGO coming to our school when I was in 6th standard and talking about this. One female even called me and made me wear a board on which the drawing on breasts and the vagina was made. I was so embarrassed!!!
    But sex education is necessary

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  8. alll appplauds for u for writn such an inspiring post on this topic... gud one nivedita...!!!!sex education in schools and the misconceptions circulated among students is a topic to be discussed...

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  9. I'm divided on this one. While sex education might indeed cause unnecessary curiosity spikes when the child might otherwise not been interested much, movies and tv contain too many sexually explicit content to keep them 'innocent' for long.
    Then I think, maybe it's better to give them the right information from valid sources than for them to glean scintillating bits and pieces from unsavory sources.

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  10. I agree totally it is the need of the hour.. else as u said, if they dont educate via books then its happening via TV and movies..

    Nice post.. it brought some of girly memories from my school days too..

    Ha ha..! y call the pads in hushed tones.. like whisper.. lol!

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  11. better to educate... I have a romantic treat for you in my place..

    Someone is Special

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  12. 1.The free bee announcemnt of SANITARY NAPKINS wer much much bettr than stoves, grinders.. so pl dont compare the two. In addition she had ordered for periodical health check-up, nutritional supplements etc.. whic we should welcome .. as it will b of gr8 use of girl children...

    2.REG. Sex edu i donno wat they ar goin to teach in tat classes..so it may b test mktd in some particular area or school and later on may be extended to varios other parts...

    3.And the TVC s showing "womens only" ads in front of all the family members is only creating embarrasemnt.. and i dont thnk wmn wil think like listening it in frnt of all..

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  13. Even I grew up learning from M&Bs but the old ones were nothing compared to the latest Mills and Boons...Moms have to take a lead when it comes to sex education.Schools are doing their bit.

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  14. Oh! I remember when they had first started teaching about reproduction and sex education and people could stop giggling in the class and no one had the gutts to discuss this openly. Now the things have changed to drastically. I think open communication about the topic reducing the myths and misconceptions which can later be quite harmful!!! :)

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

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  15. @ Arti- thanks for the visit and comment. True, our children need better understanding and knowledge.

    @ Rahul Bhatia- yes, i too agree. Who is better teacher than your first teachers- parents?

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  16. @ Redhanded- good that youngsters like you understand the impoprtance of sex education. Thanks for the visit and comment.

    @ Madrasi- thanks for the comment dear It is really nice to see youngsters moving in the right perspective here:)

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  17. @ PeeVee- Rightly said! Yes, it is better taht our chioldren learn from us, rather than scintillating glimpses from media!

    @ Krishnapriya- thanks for the comment. It is the need of the hour as you say:)

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  18. @ SiS- Thanks for the visit bro. Been a little busy, shall visit your blog for the treat soon:)

    @ Anonymous- Thanks for the visit and comment. As for the concerns you raised- 1. Though the free heath check and nutritional supplements part looks good, i don't think anyone needs sanitary napkins FREE from the Govt. Imagine how teachers would distribute them in classes 2. CBSE has a proper prescribed portion for sex education, so i think that syllabus would hold good for the others too. 3. Totally agree with what you say, but solution?

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  19. @ Alka- Moms sure take the lead. But much more has to be done from the education sector too.

    @ Tanvi- thanks for the comment. Well said- sex education is the only way to overcome the misconceptions.

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