A casual lunch time conversation in a nondescript office teeming with women goes thus-
Me: Try this fish curry, dear.
She: Oh! so sweet of you dear. I just thought of it and here you bring. How tasty. I wish i could cook like you.
HMV: Like Hell i like this. I know your trick woman- you are trying to feed me all those calories and make me a moving tank like you! And the taste of your fish- yuck! Your husband hardly touches your food. Poor him- the fellow can be a poster boy for the eradicate poverty campaign of UN!
The first time of the day when two women colleagues meet in the canteen-
Me: Good morning! You look so fresh in this cotton salwar today.
She: Good morning dear. Why, you look ravishing in this bhagalpuri. Peach and pastel green- what a combination! I have been craving a saree in this combination.
HMV: Such a trash! What the hell does she think she wears? Fit to be a table cloth. Or may be she pilfered her neighbor's curtain cloth. Thank God, my salwar looks far better today. Hmmmmmm...may be the section guys will notice my dress today, after all.
A discussion on which course is best for the children after schooling.
Me: I think my son would score enough to enter IIT. See, i have put him in coaching classes from his ninth standard.
She: True. He is very intelligent like you. May be he will finish IIT and work in NASA one day! My son is totally offtrack. I wonder if he will complete his degree.
HMV: IIT? My foot! That distilled idiot doesn't know the difference between 0 and 1. Coaching classes from 9th standard? I know how the poor kid was kicked in his ass for bunking his classes by the tutor. My son will sure enter IIT. I will ensure that the stupid son of Kumar gets into IIT. ( gritting her teeth).
Oh, i forgot to say who this Kumar is- the poor chauffeur of our she's car and her personal ATM!
A signing off meeting on a friday evening, while collecting hand bags.
Me: Oh..i am so tired. I will take rest today and will go to the movies tomorrow. Hope my husband is free.
She: Cool! You have a great time. I have loads of work pending at home. No outings for me.
HMV: ( Baring her teeth) Movies? How could she go to the movies? Stupid woman. She makes her 'innocent' husband do all the household chores and then enjoys the time. Let me get back home. Kumar wouldn't mind doing all the 'trivial' stuff. I too will go to the movies.
Colleagues meeting in a mutual friend's wedding.
Me: Wow! I didn't expect you here, dear. Lovely jewelry you are wearing. Are they real pearls?
She: Yes, yes. They are. My uncle gifted this from Hyderabad. See the lustre of the pearls!
HMV: You didn't expect me here- you devil. Do you think i am a nobody begging the streets? And pearls- what do you know of them? These are false ones, i bought them for two hundred bucks from the street vendor. Why would i tell you that. I love flaunting it on your face.
One morning, a small informal meet in the corridor after coffee.
Me: I really can't manage my motherinlaw. I wonder how she gets under my skin. Anything she does just irks me.
She: Yes..the old witches. The sooner we get rid of them, the better we would be.
HMV: Poor dear. She too suffers like me!
God listening to all these conversations- "Finally the thoughts and voices match for once. Long live the old women of the households". AMEN!
p.s.: HMV refers to Her Mind Voice- your colleague's inner voice!
p.p.s.: This applies to female colleagues over forty years ONLY!
p.p.p.s.: February 14 is nearing- Love is in the air. Happy Valentine's Day, dear all. ( Love thy own wives and husbands and lovers. Thy shall not covet others' property- God ;))
Picture of this week-