Sunday 24 June 2012

UP the Karma!

Why does this always happen to me? I do a thorough research, visit an array of shops before finalising the product, but they always fail me:( Someone said- "the household appliances you buy always are determined by your Karma". I think in my previous incarnation, i was born Kamsa and i murdered all them seven children who now are reborn- as my fridge, washing machine, mixer, gas stove, A/C, TV and laptop. And boy, how they exact their revenge! Women these days can seldom live without these gadgets and gizmos. Do we worry about the erratic power supply that plays hide and seek with us? Never!
The memory of our first fridge dates back to 1985, when we were the first family in our town to own a white Godrej 165 L. Mother was so possessive of it that she never let us, the three musketeers, any where within 1o feet radius of her fridge. She remembered her lesson well- my elder brother once tried to push his wailing younger sibling aged 6 months into the fridge during a power cut. The innocent elder brother wanted his little brother get some cool air and stop his incessant wails. Only when he tried to close the door did mother notice the little hand dangling out of the fridge! Imagine her shock. Elder one got the beating of his life that day;) 

The white mammoth, heavy Godrej worked relentlessly for almost 20 years. Wow! A fridge that worked without a hitch for 20 years! Wow! Must have been a Guinness record! As days went by, the white elephant looked a tad out of fashion, which mother refused to acknowledge. It breathed its last after successfully completing twenty years. We gave it a decent burial- exchanged her for another green Godrej which has worked a decade in mother's home, still going strong. Mother had by now become a fervent Godrejist! When i married and my uncles gifted me a fridge, she was shocked when i asked for a LG fridge. I seriously had no idea how the new brand worked, but mother prophecised- "You will regret this one day!"
My electric/ electronic gadgets always fail me, ASATC- As Soon As They CAN, which is ironically just the day after their warranty expires. The recent addition to the failure list is my brand new Whirlpool fridge which lost its compressor, seven months within its purchase. I wonder how mother used the same mixer for 10 years- i had to recoil my mixers' motor umpteen number of times, exchanged it once and have shelled out a fortune in maintaining the current piece that sputters and groans like an old engine off the tracks. And the cooking gas- it has an 'on and off' relationship with my lighter. They love each other and click the moment i strike some days. At times, the lighter boy just doesn't want to touch the burner girl. I have exchanged three stoves so far, in a span of  10 years! I wish the current butterfly glass top doesn't forsake me in the middle of a meal with guests teeming in the house!

The washing machine- ah...how can i forget him? The current one is my second washing machine. I loved my first whirlpool washing machine so much, that we ended up with the same model again. Why? Because i am a dancer! And i love my washing machine's moves. He can put MJ to shame with his twists, turns and moves. We have tied him to the tap with a strong rope, lest he runs away from our home! I was shocked to see a 'Quiet wash' washing machine in my brother's household the other day. Washing machines are supposed to entertain us with their gyrating dance moves and eerie music, ain't they? The entire street knows when i am washing my clothes- so silent is he. At times, he pulls in quirky clothes within the drum that requires a mechanic to repair, who charges a cool three hundred bucks. His last visit was to pull out my little one's slip worth fifty bucks from under the drum! Next time, i better use surgical forceps to remove the dresses caught inside. Oh, i forgot to mention, my washing machine just loves skimpy inner-wear!

The A/C? How can i not mention it? Split or window, they always are a pain in the behind. Either the gas fizzles out, or the tube is blocked, the power point gets burned or simply it stops working in the middle of a hot summer night, for no reason. Oh...and it works again like a puppy the next day morning, when the mechanic arrives, earning him an ill- deserved five hundred rupees for the visit and his switching it on! 

The laptop...i am the proud owner of a HP mini notebook, which has a peculiar characteristic- the "A"s, "Q"s, "1"s and "0"s don't work, even this moment! I use an onscreen keyboard and click away the missing letters using the mouse! The Fujitsu laptop i used for almost five years was a darling, till it gave me trouble one day- the fan sprayed so much hot air that i had a burnt lap;) Suddenly it refused to work. I gave it to my dear hardware 'specialist' who formatted the laptop- along with eight years' documentary, pictoral evidences of my happy family life after wedding...I had to nag, beg, brag and kick the hell out of everyone at home to copy down the lost pictures from their hard disks. As for the 'specialist', he still is in oblivion- has never crossed my path again. God saved his behind!

As for the inverter- my Gosh, the most wonderful invention of man, it always fails in summer.  We had to sleep huddled together in a single room, under a single fan that threatened to die any moment, the whole summer. The inverter's battery works like a politician contesting an election. During collection of annual maintenance charges, it works tick-tock like a clock. The moment i pay the money, it plays hide and seek, tripping whenever we switch on a second light!

 The mobile phone- the lesser said, the better. I dropped one in a ditch while seriously contemplating a turn, talking to a friend over it. The next one refused to just switch on, on a fine morning. The third one was duly washed by my little one, 'as it was dirty'. The others were discarded, as they were out of fashion. I-phonemania caught up with me years back. I have been bugging L for a new i-phone right from i-phone2 days. 3 came and went, 4 slipped by and now 4S is going strong, but the new phone is nowhere in sight. Ironically, the nokia 5800 express music that i've been clicking away the last two years refuses to stop working! I've dropped it ( i swear, i dropped it accidentally!) innumerable times, it stops working every now and then, but due to my Karma, it just revives itself! It is unkillable, unstoppable- perpetual! May be it is the Krishna Himself!

I type away, overcome with fear over what will stop working next...the last two months has seen repair works for A/C, fridge, washing machine, gas stove, inverter, etc. So the next in list ought to be??? Never in my life have i felt so afraid and helpless. May be i should UP my Karma, or undergo  a penance pleading long life for my electric/ electronic gizmos. Om Shanthi!


21 comments:

  1. I too have such a sweet memories about our first fridze we used it for almost 12 yrs :)..

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    1. 12 years? Thats so cool! Wonder why we don't get such quality goods these days. Thanks for the comment, Kala!

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  2. Ahahahahahaahahahahaaa...C9! Pls my ribs ache! Where do you have this sense of humour from? Oh my! Oh my! how and where will i start from ehn? Oh! appliances??.....sometimes i wonder how our ancestors coped!
    I like LG products also.

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    1. Thank you so much, Ibhade:) I knew you would like this write up. You too like LG? Doomed! Probably our ancestors were lucky to have lived a gadget-free life, happily.

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  3. What a sizzler this one was - couldn't help but howl away in laughter. This was a Trademark Cloud Nine post if there was one - it reminded me of your post on your first car - Bhagyalakshmi.

    For your keyboard problem, you could contemplate using a regular desktop keyboard by attaching it to your laptop via USB - even if you give it the beating of its life each time; I`m sure it would take it happily.

    Your analysis is spot on; 20/30 years back products lasted as long as they did because there weren't as many competitors as today for consumers to choose from and they were mostly made with a very high tolerance for overload/misuse and repair which today's products certainly cannot undergo because they are built with the mantra - Its cheaper to replace rather than repair.

    Had a ball reading this one. Keep `em coming.

    Cheers :)

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    1. Wow:)) That is the sweetest comment i got from you so far, AS. Thank you so much. Very true when you say the gadgets that were made those days were made to last longer. Consumers these days too feel once a gadget is out of fashion, just chuck it. Gone are those days...all we are left with are brags that we used an A/C for ten years or a gas stove for twenty years...

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  4. @ cloud Nine... I can completely empathise with you. My washing machine is also a dancer though he did not try to run away from the house. My pressure cooker is all pressure and no cooker..!! I think there is something about the appliances made these days or the way they are used by us these days :)

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Meera. Your washing machine too? True, appliances these days are not built to last long...

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  5. That wastruly hilarious, stories abt the gadgets and their link to ones karma, LOL..
    and abt the on screen keyboard part, OMG thats way too difficult :)

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    1. Yes...i hate my As, Qs n Zs now:( Tough. Thanks for the comment, Madrasi:)

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  6. i remember our first fridge.... a green voltas.... i had drawn birds all over it, and my parents hung on to it for sentimental reasons more than anything else!

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    1. Rightly said, Ash, Sentimental reasons! Birds on the fridge?We used to paste sticky notes:P

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  7. My LG fridge is 10 years old and still going strong and so are my Santro car and Sony TV :).

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    1. Green with ENVY, Rachna! Fridge working for 10 years? Car and sony tv? God, you are indeed very lucky. Results of your Karma;) Thanks for the comment, Rachna.

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  8. Pray pooja to electronics God..and say "Aum gizmo'vayae namaha", and you shall be come out of your yester life's sin! Ha ha..They always seem to create problem. Does that happen too often in India though??? Rough use, too much of usage or duplicate parts - What to pinpoint!

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    1. Vaish...thank you so much for the comment :)

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  9. Seriously, I can't think of it happening to me. I laptop was in bad shape for 4 days and I was so sad, I wasted entire time in fixing it with no result. I would have gone crazy if that happens with me. I wish I could something for you except for praying...

    God Bless your gadgets with long life...

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    1. Hahaha...so you must have been blessed, dear Saru! Thanks for the comment :)

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  10. Hey CN,
    I guess my mother had a very good karma... She bought the fridge first, even before the TV, circa 1985. A Kelvinator 165. It's been on and on and is still on, doing its post-retirement re-employment duty in our hometown. I really don't know why they never bother to manufacture such long-lasting gadgets anymore. My whirlpool of 10 years stands in shame before my mother's fridge, having broken down several times in its short lifespan.
    Great going, keep it up!

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  11. Hi CN,
    My mother bought the refrigerator first, in preference to even the TV. This was circa in 1985 and this gadget is running even now, performing its post-retirement re-employment duty at our hometown. Though its initial milk white colour is now almost ivory like the Taj, its performance and storage capacity is unbeatable even by my own whirlpool, which has broken down several times in its 10 year lifespan. I think my mother has a very good karma.
    I wonder why companies never manufacture such long-lasting goods anymore...
    Your post is hilarious, keep it going!

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    1. Hahaha...Thank you so much for the sweet comment, sis :) Your mother sure has good karma :P Having seen the refrigerator myself, I sure vouch for your mom. As for your whirlpool...you too? :P

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