Men are from Mars, women are from Venus!

Every turn of your life, he is there for you. He smiles with you, laughs at your blunders, ruffles your unruly hair on disappointments, shares your pain and at times is your worst enemy ever. You wish you never set eyes on him that fateful day, yet the memories of that catastrophe come back to haunt you every night. He wooed you with his condescending smiles and furtive glances. All you have now is a wedding album laden with funny pictures. A skinny version of your partner staring wide eyed at the camera man- " Oh, this fellow must be paid the balance 20000 bucks". And you would be staring at the camera with a huge stupid smile- " God, is my make up still okay?" Ah, we women!

Isn't it true, men are from mars and women are from venus? The union of these two aliens brings about a new combination species that drives out every inch of sanity from our small brain. Love starts easy all the time, a few glances, feathering touches and raging hormones can spell your end. What makes the relationship tick is the tougher part. Newly married, Sirji would bend the heaven, scour the vessels, sweep the floor, mop the rooms and what not. Few years into marital bliss(!), all troubles start. Damn the cricket matches. The moment they announce one, the alien in Sirji starts acting over smart. Feigning a head ache, the couch potato refuses to rise up to your bait, your coffees and chais just go down the drain ( throat) in huge gulps.

The standard TV pose!

And a visit to the mall always starts with an argument and ends with a cold war. The only thing men hate in the world all over is, shopping. And trust me folks, women love to shop till they drop. Men just survive the shopping fest by enjoying the beauty of the malls and the beauties shopping there.( Other than the wife, of course!) Why do we then take them shopping along with us? Men think we love their opinions on dresses and cosmetics- trust me, even our house maid wouldn't like their choices. Then why? Of course, to carry the bags and drive us back home. Add to it, the security of a white haired, bespectacled oldie accompanying us- wards off even a mosquito!

Why do husbands always peer so close at things, starting from our hair clips to our sneakers? They say they love to watch every intricate details about us. How believable...Don't fall for it. All they see is the imaginative price tag that accompanies every visual of our accessories. A look at the hair clip says a hundred bucks and an approving glance at your hand bag means- " God, is that bag Gucci?" Another tribe exist that don't even know if the wife wears a hair clip or holds a bag! And count yourself lucky, if you are wedded to one;)


Does he say those three most dreaded words often- " I love you!" He is definitely foregoing picking up the little devil from his class or escaping the dish wash session. Men are cats, they like to yawn and stretch on the couch all the time, munching fish while the females of the species keep watch over little ones, bark and snare at the cats! Even then, if a cat and a dog spend a decade together under the same roof- it is celebration time!!! Happy Anniversary to my dear Tom...sincerely yours- Spike! 

p.s.: Happily celebrating tenth wedding anniversary!
p.p.s.: Wondering how people celebrate silver and golden anniversaries- real tough:(
p.p.p.s.: If i was Spike, Sirji Tom, who would Jerry be??? Yes, you are right- the jerries are hiding behind the sofa now!!!

Fatwarya Rai- a dream come true!

Something that had happened in the recent past had me almost yelling with joy...A picture that made every cell in my body sing with happiness. This is what we all had been waiting for almost a decade. And thank God how he granted our wish- all aunties of the nation now have their own icon. Let us all welcome the new auntie to our tribe with pride and glee...Welcome Aishwarya!

That is the dream girl!

I can still remember how husband dear used to watch the pretty damsel with dreamy eyes. Fuming, wasn't I? And now all the aunties of the world can heave  sigh of relief! Aish is flabulous, after all! And her styling in full flowing caftans has made the press guess- Is she fat, is she not? Thanks to her, aunties of the world are now stocking caftans galore in their wardrobes! Hopefully, i shall jump the bandwagon of caftan sporting aunties. L please note;) And oh...can we forget those dimples? What a beauty! Next time i check in the mirror for those extra fittings hanging underneath the chin like punching bags, i shall sure remember this image. And all the plump and voluminous housewives can now laugh and be happy. We have no competition! Of course, let us wait for the size zero bebos to get married;)

We love that gown, don't we?;)

And how dare the menfolk expect all that baby fat to vanish in thin air in six months? Chanceless. I wish Aish carries on this full and curvy figure, flaunts it more often in Cannes, not in India. She might be crushing a million dreams of poor men. For more than a decade we have been listening to drooling men's ooooh... and aaah....on her. Thank you my Lord. Revenge never seemed so sweet! Husbands please note, Aish is not the yardstick for rating your wives, just like we don't rate husbands by SRK-o-meter or Hrithik-o-meter! Good looking wives- definitely a plus, but does that mean all wives should be look- alikes of Aish? Out of the entire aish episode, i discovered something great- Elie Saab creates gowns XXL size!!! And i am glad i can fit into one;) To save some grace, here is a picture of Aish before the baby-

p.s.: Sorry, i have been really irregular with my blog of late, thanks to L on his vacation. Now that he is back to his home in the Sandbox, i am free;)
p.p.s.: Kindly excuse me, i haven't touched many blogs for a long time. I promise to go through once i get some time.
p.p.p.s.:  Why don't i get paid for the two months i have managed the little devils at home? Teachers please send me my share of your pay! Summer vacation- how i hate you:'(