Sunday, 13 February 2011

Southern Sojourns- Valentine Touche'

Has Saint Valentine ever touched Loving Hearts in South TamilNadu??? I myself have this doubt. The most literate, the most valuable and the most industrious lot have their roots here, but is love blooming here? Definitely NO. The impediment here is not the wallets as usually is, there are many to say, starting from caste, religion and lining up to the 'aam aadmi'.( Common man). This 'aam aadmi' is the worst player in killing many romantic relationships here, many families opt out of a love marriage simply because of the fear of  what "that gentleman" would say and feel. Living in Most Modern Era, the casteist feelings still rule the roost here, of nadars, thevars and pillais.

Each caste outclasses the other by sheer muscle power and sickle power to bring down romance. Ah! Romance becomes pickle for these casteist minds. Every village in these parts remembers one such tragic love story, of suicides, eloping and murders. Do towns fare better? Nope. They have other subtle ways of tramping the love blooms, starting from emotional blackmails to downright denial fearing the aam aadmi. Who is he anyway? He attends every wedding in the periphery. He gifts a fifty bucks, has a hearty meal. With his burping, he analyses the couple, both the families, weighs them. While chewing his betel he chews the familys' stories and spits out venom when he leaves. Will he ever come back in your life? Yes, indeed, not when you are ill, not when you are down financially, not when you face a problem. He arrives when you are dead, sympathising 'how nice' you were. So what role he has got to play in our lives? Nothing substantial. So why would our parents and grandparents worry about Mr Aam aadmi? He has a whiplash of a tongue and can shred your mentors' standing to pieces. But should loving parents pay heed to him? I would say NO. Children come first. Life is not full of compromises. How can we expect our children in twenties and thirties compromise because of us? If the family is good, if the girl or boy will nurture our son or daughter better than us, why must Mr Aam Aadmi stop us from marrying them off? Again I dont say here 'love marriages are always good'. Weighing the options and giving our loved children a chance would be much better rather than saying an outright NO. We send our children to study and work in Japan, US, Australia, Germany and far off places. Is it just we expect them to preserve our own values and virtues by not falling for the right girl or boy of their choice?

 It is indeed heartening to note few changes here and there, people start to feel the warmth of love. But is this enough? Differences are sure to crop up in any serious romantic relationship, leave alone marriages. So it must be the love that can keep relationships afloat. Arranged marriages fare better because the elders of both sides can nudge the relationship to the right direction when there are differences. What goes wrong in love marriages? Love dies the day you tie the mangal sutra! If you can keep the flame burning even if you are married, lucky you! You can live successfully. I wish Saint Valentine touches a few hearts and brings about a change in how we Southerners view love and weddings. As for the Mr Aam Aadmi, let him rot in hell!!!


  1. hehe dats a lot of venom for the aam aadmi. im almost certain he wil say sumthin pretty nasty to say abt dis too!

    rightly sed tho....dere is an over the top focus on 'log kya kahenge' wich drives the course of 'hum kya karenge' :(

  2. Agreed 100% with what you say Sadiya:) Hum kya karenge? Aghle shaadi mein wohi baath karenge;)Aam Aadmi....chuckle!

  3. Very true. Its the situation that has killed many a true romances. Emotional blackmail is a key weapon used by parents to keep their hopelessly-in-love children to fall into their way of thinking!

  4. Thanks for your comment Gemshia! Sadly most of our Southern Parents resort to that tool, which might be helpful now, but it maligns the children against the parents in the long run:( Parents fail to understand that...

  5. I think the law of business applies here also. any biz involves a risk. and ppllike it Say if it is cost RS.100 the risk may be a profit of Rs.10 or aLoss of Rs.10. and ppl dont like it if it s a profit of Rs.50/- on the +ve side and an expected loss of Rs.50/- in the -ve side. ppl gen do nt go fr that kindof biz. i think Love marriage fits in this quadrant. and parents feels high risk for this knd of business deal..rgds

  6. Thank you for your time and comment Anonymous. So parents back out fearing failure in love marriages. Do you think arranged marriages click all the more? Arranged or love, marriages are based on understanding and a few compromises. If two totally ajnabees can adjust and compromise in an arranged marriage, what goes wrong in mutually well known love marriages?

  7. No comments!

    Live and let live! lol!
    Try and listen to "nothing else matters" by Metallica and "It's my life" by Bonjovi.


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