Monday 14 March 2011

Obese angles...


Picture courtesy- clipart

May be everything in life should have an obese angle to it. So that it would be easy to face the big fat aunty over there. Shaping up is easier to type than practise! Before the D-Day, it is " Oh...don't eat ice creams, no no...no chocolates..what? a full meal...definitely no..." The pre wedding jitters include the strict diet regimen, i was so skinny before wedding that counting the bones was cakewalk even for a blind woman! Mother always restricted me from eating chocolates and too much icecreams- stating my sinusitis and weight gain. Gritting my teeth, i waited and waited till that D-Day! Voila! Happily wedded, i did not want the people to think bad of my husband. A newly wedded wife's weight is directly proportional to the happiness factor and inversely proportional to the husband's wallet!

Pictire courtesy- Cartoonstock
I put on little weight and then came the two children. The pre and post pregnancy diets were so healthy and great that i gradually lost count of the kilos that shot up. The weighing scales started creaking and i was so happy all our relatives would know how happily we were married. Then came Ms Kareena and her size zero figuremania. I was awe-struck watching the skinny divas worser than Tenalirama's horses walk the romp. Then started my size zeromania, i thought may be some exercise would help. Enrolling in a local gym was really fun, the to and fro bike ride in early mornings was great and the days started bright. Ah! I even bought a Tee and jean two sizes smaller- hoping i might use it soon, which sadly never happened...The first few days were regular and how much ever i ran and ran in that "dread"mill and cycled that "static" cycle, the weighing scales never dipped down from 68 kgs. The gym instructor saw the change in my face on seeing the scales and said-" See, you are maintaining the same weight for two months! That itself is amazing. You haven't put on weight". I tried to follow the strict diet regimen- weighing 100 gms of corn flakes, measuring half a cup skimmed milk and no sugar. That oats porridge with sugar free is a nightmare! Again a stale chappati for lunch and a fruit at night. Oh no...I felt my legs shaking and my hands trembling with hunger every day, all the time! Then came the frequent " Sick leave" from gym and finally after two months, i quit. No more diet enhanced exercises for me.


Abcircle ad! I hate that before after pictures!
Pic courtesy- Abcircle website;)

Life in Saudi Arabia is much more fun, nobody can push you to the gym, in fact there are no gyms for women here. But one fine morning on checking the weighing scales that read a good 75 kgs, i was fuming with anger. No, its either me or that damn weighing machine...It has to show me at 50 kgs some day. After a lot of pestering and bickering, i was gifted(?) with a mechanised tread mill at home. Then came the nike sports shoe, the work out costume- again a nike, and a samsung YS2 player! You needed to hear music when you run, right? Armed with gatorade(!) and a few towels, i started working out at home everyday for the first month, twice a week the second month, once a month the third month and finally never ever in that damn machine again! But so sweet of my husband who let the machine stay on in the second bedroom....am indeed so happy that the tread mill is now my regular clothesline for bedspreads and towels! When i leave Saudi, my 'dread'mill will be badly missed...

As for the weight gain and weight loss, I am happy the way i am and i do not really care about size zero or diet. I eat what i like, I am The Boss! Thankfully, my husband is someone for whom looks doesn't matter, or so i think... There are many angles to the weight factor- and i wish there was an obese angle to it. Whatever our diet, workout or anything- God gave us one life and why should it be wasted worrying about skinny beauties and 'dread'mills? Instead, dig into that baskin robbins and savor that chicken- 65....ooooooooohlalaaah! Life is to be enjoyed, not miserable due to some bag-of-bones hawker who smiles and poses on TV for ab-circle or ab-pro. I prefer to look 'Flab'ulous instead of F'ab'ulous!

19 comments:

  1. hehe well ur rite abt dat no doubr but flab aint gud fr health na :(

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  2. good writing style....hope to read more such humourous articles. best wishes.

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  3. Hey Sadiya...Thanks for the visit and comment. Flab or ab, we all gonna die someday....so why all the fuss:P Eat well and be happy;)

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  4. Dear Ramnath, Thanks a lot for your time and comment. Shall sure try to write some articles like these. Ana, intha comedy stylela yosikka, konjam kashtama irukkuppa:P

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  5. Very funny and entertaining. Here the battle of the bulge is still on in my end, now although it is becoming more and more difficult to lose weight, I just cannot give up my exercise routine, which has become a part of my life for the last 20 years. Every time I go abroad I come back with 2 kilos extra, which shows no sign of budging, although I get very little to eat there being a vegetarian, and I have to walk a lot to see the various places of interest.
    But the fight tho Jari Rehegi!!!

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  6. There was a Whole episode on VIJAY TV on the area u are talkin abt. One lady litereally cried tat she lost all her beauty folowing a HEALTH PACKAGE frm a Leading co.(didnt mention name probably VLCC??).. she bcame so lame. all her intestine and mouth got wounded. such tat she cant eat one idly for a break fast wit sugar . her skin got shrinks. she cant do any physical wrk continously. she pleaded every one not to go fr these packages.

    ADD TO : ..our women mostly endup the lunch /dinner sessiion at home. they tend to finish that day cooked. so helpless. (even my wife does tat.. she will nt like to waste excesses).

    And wait fr few more Yrs.. our personal care Ind makes 5000 Cr Topline by makin our ppl to crave for white skin.

    so HLL and P&G may take this as second opportunity to make another 5000 Cr by making ppl to crave for ZERO SIZE.

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  7. enjoyed it reading
    no gyms for women here.

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  8. Good one! It's the same story everywhere, even I enrolled a gym here inspired by WWE wrestlers, after two months I consoled myself saying that - I am no wrestler! Let me enjoy that extra morning sleep and evening fastfood obsession with my friends :)

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  9. Thanks for your visit and comment dear Harish:) Thanks for the time:)

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  10. Dear Rama....I envy your grit and determination when you say "fight tho jaari rahegi". I lack that spirit:( Thanks for your comment. You keep going:)

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  11. Dear Anonymous, i am so sad to hear about that VLCC episode. Health care and fitness industry is attacking the New Gen who can shell out a few extra bucks to remain size zero and i hope the fanaticism soon wanes out, for our own good! Thanks for your comment yaar:)

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  12. Dear sm, thanks a lot for your comment and visit! Yes, all kabsa and no gym makes a woman fat, flab and ugly;)

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  13. Dear Anto...hahaha;) Hope we both sail on the same freaking boat of foodaholics! No workout and more fast food= flab, flab and more flab...But we ain't no wrestlers anyway...;)

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  14. I firmly believe that eating what you like makes you happy...
    A very nice story, well written!!
    Have a nice day:-)

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  15. Thank you for your visit and comment dear Arthi! Keep on eating that makes us happy;)

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  16. ha ha..rOFL!!
    Yes...I was as skinny for years and years..and my mom worried a lot about this! One after other, now I'm at good 55 kgs, and my old jeans are sitting at the wardrobe..and I keep buying new size!! Nothing works out for me - food diet, exercise !
    Flabolous - well yes..i prefer to be too!

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  17. Dear Vaish, thank you for your comment! Eat what you like and be happy. As for flab- chuck it;)

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  18. We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have.

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