Saturday, 5 March 2011

Wedding BELLs

Picture of Bell 429, courtesy

Wedding BELLs were really ringing in remote Jaunapur village. Well, it has been actually a Bell 429 that has been ringing the wedding bells for scions of two bigwig politicos- a Congress MLA Kanwar Singh Tanwar and Ex MLA Sukhbir Singh Jaunapuria. Media has gone crazy reporting the 18,000 strong wedding gala party. And i am indeed going crazy thinking why i was not invited! Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, SRK and even our Prime Minister will be attending the Star studded reception on March 6, so why was i left off the list? Not at all good! Probably they forgot to mail me the invite. Or there was some mistake in the mail delivery system. When 18,000 elite of India can attend, why can't i?

The million dollar bride and her groom- Tanwars
Image Courtesy- Times of India

I should have learnt the art of hair styling atleast! The bride groom's hair dresser got a hefty tip of US$5500. That is what we call a 30K haircut! Or may be i should have volunteered to clear traffic during my NCC school days. I woud have atleast managed to be one of the 40 traffic policemen at the venue. Poor me! I don't even know to erect a shamiana. Could have easily passed muster along with the 1000 workers who worked overdrive for 40 days to bring it to shape. Oh...was there an invite for the pre-wedding function? Duh! I missed a silver biscuit ( Nah! You cannot eat it folks- it is pure silver!), a safari suit and 500 US$ in cash. Seems a costly miss...And the groom was garlanded with 1000 rupee notes on the engagement day ( worth US$5 millions!)...I wonder why Madam Mayaji is silent here, she has the sole right to receive 1000 rupee garlands. May be she would send a press release saying it is a preplanned plot to demean her importance.

Probably i would have been atleast one of the TV camera crew checking the 12 giant TV screens set up for the bash. Neha Dhupia refused my services as a touch up, she probably did not want to share the 20 lakhs she got for 30 minutes hip-shake with a paltry touch up girl! "Oye...Munni Badnaam Hui!" There is no use in thinking about the past. I would be happy if the Hollywood beauty who will be shaking the legs at the reception on March 6 employs me as a touch up atleast...Or a kerchief girl like what Madam Jayalalitha has? Hmmmmmm...All roads seem to be closed now for me! The only option left out is clear, by air, now i know what i must do to get a glimpse of the purported Royals- be a chopper pilot! It is so simple, you need 10 flying hours sitting nearby a Chief Pilot, atleast pouring him a mug of coffee up there. Ask YSR's chopper pilots, they might tell you from Above..."Its so easy girl!" May be i should try to steal the chopper for the Royal British Wedding too! So, any Chopper Pilot Trainers??? I am game...

That would be my favorite bell...Riing Riiiiing!
Where is it Dad?
Oh...I forgot to say the most important thing here- Lakshmi Mittal's daughter's wedding cost US$ 60 Millions. And Tanwars' Wedding cost a whopping US$ 55 million. Probably MLAs in India have the moolah more than the Mittals. Its all about money, honey...And it is ours! That Bell 429 cost US$26 million...Probably i should ask my Papa for a Bell 420...or atleast a calling bell that i can ring at home and rest in peace!


  1. Ahh...the Big fat Indian Wedding...Have money will show off.

    Nd you shouldn't have waited for the invite, should have just gate-crashed.

  2. Thanks a lot for your time and coment dear Purba, shall remember that gate-crash idea....would love some company for next big fat Indian wedding;)


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