Wednesday 28 September 2011

Look up, i say!

Men...ahhhh...this is one intriguing subject that i can ramble on and on for ages. When it comes to looks, they are just mind- blowing. Not the way they look, but the looks they give every moving being with extra weight on the torsos. Men- any variety- be the uber cool or the conservative introverts, the super smart or the plain ordinary, the eyes and the power they have enthrall me. Not the para psychic power that can bend spoons and plates, the magnetic power that can make any woman bend inwards and hang her head in shame...All these pieces manufactured with the main chip programmed to envision only the 'assets' of women! All stereotypes who start and end a conversation looking 'there' and keep their eyes rooted throughout the entire melee 'there'. 

Though the silicon revolution is catching up in India now, the raunchy hormonal libido of men goes overdrive just at the sight of the assets well marketed by women of all-woods, starting from Aishwarya Rai to Rakhi Sawant. Rakhi Sawant? Oh yeah, the Saint who challenges that every testosterone package will lose virginity to her- including the bak bak Baba! That she can do only displaying her fairly over proportioned assets is no secret...I wonder men 'look' for Rakhi in every woman they could lay their eyes upon. We can happily exclude the minimal exceptions, who like genuine friendship with women and who can keep up the friendship for ages by simply 'looking up'.
Seriously man, did you 'look' at her face, huh???

Indian average male has always been fed and pampered in a male chauvinistic society where women are looked upon..oops, there i go again...as weaker sex. And starting from 'avvaiyar kozhukkattai' ( a secret dumpling made only by women and for women with absolutely no knowledge of men of the house!) to ' those five days', Indian women remain so secretive and subdued. Result- from time immemorial men have been wanting to know what lies beneath the 'package' so much that we have them panting...' choli ke peeche kya hai?' And no wonder they try to use their left and right telescopes ( eyes!) as vernier calipers , deciphering the 'inner nirvana'! The older they get, the peering becomes promiscuous- eye sight problems at forty, you see! I wonder how the hormonal imbalances never affect the 'looking down'. 

It is totally another matter when a woman drops something down. The ' sincere sahibs' try to pick up the pen lying on the floor with their binoculars aimed at you know where...I have seen many women with the mannerism of pulling their neckline or holding their neckline as a drowning man to a stick when bending down to retrieve things! Ah...there lady, don't forget your behind...Roving eyes will already be measuring if it is L, XL or XXL!!! Libido infected men suffering from acute 'looking down's' syndrome will always haunt us. So what do we do, poor women? Simple- give them icy cold stares at the crotches!!! Oh no, one look there and you will have an entire battalion scratching the crotches, looking at you, half eyes closed! Alas...what other option do we have? Just stand up to them and say- LOOK UP!!!

P.S.: I was truly inspired to write this post when i found fellow bloggers Redhanded and Holy Crap taking up the unfair- sex bashing to new heights in blogosphere! Now it is my turn to turn the heat on;) 

24 comments:

  1. Woman!!! We have started a blogger revolution!!! OK atleast a trend.I loved reading this. Seriously even when i bend to pick up the fallen goods, i hold my neckline close to my neck even if it is a highteck top. This was awesome

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  2. Wow...you did a MUCH MUCH better job! :)
    Awesome bashing!:D

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  3. I don't think men have EVER looked at her face:P

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  4. Yeah Nivedita... way to go!!! God.. ! I think it is something to do with not being able to ever grow up and be "weaned" off their mother! There are some men who can make you feel uncomfortable by just being in the same room with you...and the conversations among men I am sure do not go beyond one part of a woman's anatomy.. How would they like it if like them we were to start "looking down" to check out their "assets" ??

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  5. hehe dis actually reminds me of an sms of long ago. u may hav read it too-

    jab ladki pranam karne jhukti hai to uske kya dikhte hain?
    uske sanskar dikhte hain---aur aap jo soch rahe ho usse aapke sanskar dikhte hai.
    :o

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  6. Wow! I kinda speak for my entire race when I say 'we're insulted' :P

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  7. @ Redhanded- Lady, you set the ball rolling;) And you too hanging to the neckline? Argh! Stupid men!!!

    @ Indhumathy- Thanks Lady:) Let us keep the spirits up! Hi- Five!!!

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  8. @ Anu Krishnan- Hahaha! Yeah, why would anyone look at the face? Is there anything worth seeing there??? Welcome to my blog, Lady!

    @ Meera- Thanks a ton and glad you liked the post. Following your prescription from now on....lets look down:P

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  9. @ Sadiya- Thanks for the comment dear...sansar dhiktha hai, kya? Bad bad men...

    @ Anonymous- whats that aiyo aiyo for??? Do you agree to the post or not???

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  10. @ Anish- Glad you comment on this issue, first. Atta man! Welcome to my blog:) My intention was not to insult the entire clan, but the peering peers:P

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  11. Haha, wonderful! Stingy and witty as usual! Its high time men started looking in the right directions :p

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  12. Nice post (loved the neckline part) ;)
    I came here via red handed's blog.. and the time i spent over here was totally worth it :)
    Hope to stay connected.. :)

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  13. @ Arti- yeah, its high time:) Thank you for the visit and comment.

    @ madhulika- Welcome to my blog dear. Thanks for the sweet comment. Visiting your blog now:)))

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  14. @ Arti- yeah, its high time:) Thank you for the visit and comment.

    @ madhulika- Welcome to my blog dear. Thanks for the sweet comment. Visiting your blog now:)))

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  15. @ Arti- yeah, its high time:) Thank you for the visit and comment.

    @ madhulika- Welcome to my blog dear. Thanks for the sweet comment. Visiting your blog now:)))

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  16. This was one thoughtful post from your pen CN. and not all are the same piece of shit because there are men who only love women eyes, maybe it is very rare to find.. Happy Weekend..

    Someone is Special

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  17. Thanks a lot for your comment dear SiS:)I do agree with you, not all men are same, but the exceptions are just rare to find...

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  18. Wow...I love this.I just passed on the one lovely blog award to you, please check my blog for details...Thanks for always stopping by my side

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  19. You gt a point there :)
    Looking down is the most convenient we can do most of the times...
    but then apart frm all this i must say i've also met some very decent men who nevr make you feel uncomfortable..:)

    Loved ur blog :)

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  20. Hey Priya, thanks for the visit and comment:) Welcome to my blog and glad you love it!

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  21. Well written cloud nine, as you told, men are programmed to look like that, otherwise, they will no more be considered as "men". They may have a basic decency (look apart to avoid such tight corners) as they do with their family members!

    What about looking back? I have miserable experience with a few girl's hip line(!), while their loose jeans goes below their b*u*m line during the above process (picking a pen?)

    To whome shall I blame dear cloud nine?

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  22. Janaki...hahaha! Thats a cute comment;) Why do men always look upon women other than their next kith and kin as 'available'??? The argument that 'men' are programmed to stare is not acceptable...Women too have their hormones...It all finally comes to Control, which men sadly lack...As for the hipster jean, i am sorry about your experience. I too have witnessed such women flashing their behinds. May be they are exceptions...what say?:)

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