Catch Me If You Can

I wake up, glance at my watch and switch on the TV remote. The first visual streaming in was ODTV that showed a gory scene with blood splattered all around. Oh, what the hell...a bad start to a good morning. I look dreamily at the pizza hand delivered from Karachi. I live in Babbotabad, White House, near Saudi Mosque, Clifton, Karachi, just a stone's throw away from Karachi's Military Compound. I have fallen in love with Babbotabad, its quaint lifestyle where i drive my flashy lamborghini. Burp...the pizza delivery boy's service is too good here! I close my eyes and try to figure out what to do today- may be fly in my private jet to Dubai for a turkish bath session. Mmmmmmmmmmmm....sounds so refreshing. Did i forget to tell you? I now own an airline company from an undisclosed Central Asian Republic. A bath and then a board meeting of D Company in Hotel Burj Khalifa's pent house is today's agenda.

Since the purported death of Osama bin Laden, i have tried to remain more discreet- i wouldn't want choppers descending on White House! Tiger and Chotu must be in the second floor, i think to myself. Life has been so easy, thanks to ISI who have bestowed highest of the highest degrees for our family members. Who would have thought- Zubeena who never set foot in a school is today Dr Zubeena, Ph D. Mahrukh is an engineer...I myself Post Doctorate in OCCF ( Organised Crime, Counterfeiting, Forgery)! I simply love the ISI and the Republic of Pakistan. Reminiscing my life in Mumbai is my favorite pastime and here i go again, remembering the hotttt Bollywood heroines who performed for me in Dubai. Sallu Mian is my favorite Hero, he told Aish how much we like each other! I was so happy watching the tapes Sallu Mian and Aish talked of me...And i  remember fondly my dear Munnabhai with a gun. Munna is my all time favorite, his love of pistols and women- we both share same aspirations. My Bollywood connection is a kismat connection!

Munnabhai sporting my pistol!

This lady was kissed and she told!!! Sallu Mian- Never trust women who kiss and tell!

OBL was my best friend till that date when Black Hawks descended on Abbotabad and murdered him. Had he listened to me- bought an airline and positioned one chopper ready to take off any moment, Navy SEALs would not have got him. He would be now playing Tora Tora happily with his sixth Omani wife in Corbettobad than being mauled by blood thirsty sharks in Arabian Sea! Luckily for me, my chopper always waits at my beck and call at the top floor of White House. I heard yesterday the Indian Army is planning to carry out a Covert Operation to take me down- but Allah Kareem, their choppers are so bad- they cannot even cross into Pakistani air space in their choppers! Ask Dorjee Kandu, YSR, Actress Soundarya...Pawan Hans or Military choppers, Indian aircrafts take off well, but land seldom!

Oh...but i have to be careful about the rockets of ISRO- every time they launch one, it barges staright into Bay of Bengal. May be they would try to send a commando force aboard a PSLV and land it in Babbatobad. That i must be careful of. I love the masala reporters of Indian Press- so much that i often invite them to White House to have chit chats. I am a big fan of Barkha Dutt, she is a great OCCF and can liaise with my tradesmen and may be help in selling pistols to Ministers! I can give a live show on any Indian television, but never get caught! I can attend any cricket match and watch it from the VVIP box, but never get caught! I can buy, sell and broker any business in India, but never get caught! I may be invisible, but omnipotent and omnipresent....I am Dawood Ibrahim....Catch me if you can!!!

All pics courtesy- Google search:)