One harsh post ahead. If you are a misogynist, chauvinist, ego-dystonic, domineering tyrant male of the Homo Sapiens species- warning, please DO NOT read ahead, get back to your cricket, couch and potato chips. Others...have you ever wondered how a man looks at a woman?
It is reverence when he looks lovingly at his adorable mother. "Aakir woh maa hai". He waits for the word from her mouth. Every twist in her lips brings out the Hercules in him. His eyes await her finger snap to enter alert mode. He stands wishing he could hide behind her Pallu when she adoringly pats his head and says..."mera beta bahut seedha sadha hai" to the in-laws. He can brush only when maa is nearby, he has free potty time only when maa cooks to his taste and he can sleep only when he sets his eyes on his mom crying over her favorite soap. Comma.
Enter the wife. The moment he sets eyes on his wife, he is smitten. " Arrey...maa ko daalo chulha mein". From the day he is married (finished, legally and technically), he has eyes only for the Missus. With huge puppy eyes, he watches her go from 40 to 80 kgs in a single year. It is with the same devotion and determination he watches his toddler pampered by the lioness. His eyes feast on all of the 80 kilos, she is his property, after all- signed, sealed and delivered.
So far, so good. Now comes the hardest part. How does he view the average woman next door? The girl at the super market's counter? The lady who whizzes past him in her bike? His colleague who rushes into the office holding her hand bag and lunch bag like a born weight lifter? At the woman next to him at the lift who is huffing and puffing, chewing her lip..?*Stop your dirty thoughts* She is late to work and is probably contemplating which grandmother she has to kill today for her late attendance.
The idea about a woman who is neither his maa nor his wife is spoon fed to the Indian male mind as someone from the tinsel town or magazine covers. Man, he looks first for the *sparks*! Every female other than maa and the missus must be 'ready to be judged'. And the sparks indeed fly- you need a weighing scale and a 'fairness' meter for that. If a woman is reed thin, has the skin that is anywhere between 8 and 10 on the fairness meter and has the brains of a hare, she is drool-worthy...Add to this a voice that gives jitters to Latha Ji. The combination is lethal. Oh yeah baby! Covet her! Lust her!
Did I tell you how he looks at a saree- clad woman? She has to be ahem...proportionate. A look- alike of Kareena in her Chammak Chalo number gyrating would be like an oasis to a thirsty man. His eyes size up, judge and pass snide remarks to his otherwise loving heart. Genuinely he feels, God has created every woman for him to be judged. And boy he loves them when they are dumb and knuckle heads. The fairer the lady is, the 'innocent' she is. The venom in her would actually put a thousand black mambas to instant death. Poor fellow, he never knows, as he never gets past the shell. The leaner a woman is, the 'likeability' factor shoots through the stars. Fat women are gross. God, why can't they exercise, diet and be more 'presentable'?
Dear Mr. Judge, have you ever seen beyond the facade? Have you ever actually noted your colleague's intelligence? Have you ever spent a few minutes wondering how every woman you come across is a successful mother, a loved sister, a doting wife, a true friend to someone?
Every woman's life is filled with dreams, ranging from a holiday to a successful shopping trip...from a clean kitchen to a correct fit dress, from a successful business venture to a blockbuster book on self esteem. All she needs is a look of admiration from the people around her. To be acknowledged as a human being and a friend, rather than being judged on her skin, tresses and physique. Share the love with such unknown women who we see on the road everyday, who we meet everyday in our life. What better would a message be, than spreading love and affection among the unknown, unsung and the unnoticed? Love everyone, judge none. Happy Valentine's Day, folks!
p.s.: This is a fitting reply to that 'friend' of mine who asked why I couldn't be like my friends...lean and fit. Face-palm yourself mate!
p.p.s.: From the chaaiwallah to the Kejriwall'aaah'...Delhi has once again proved its might. Kudos!
p.p.p.s.: Patting myself for the regular posts. Someone get me a plate of carrot halwa dripping with ghee...would love a few more pounds on me ;)