Ah! 18 again!
Isn't that lovely? To feel young, carefree and energetic and ahem... virgin ? Your 30 plus body fails to respond to the whims and fancies of your 18 year old tiny heart that likes to skip, hop, jump and to 'tighten'. Fasten your waist belts or rather your panties 'tight', ladies- the 'tight' is here! Hola! You can snap your finger at the hapless male whom you have been despising all your life, you are 'tight'. Crawling on his knees and panting he would now run the household, when you- the 'liberated' can click away on your high heels, flashing the errrr...tight glory hole!
The whole country goes gaga over it! At parties where hush-hush of forty plus aunts and career women in their lunch breaks of nondescript offices where rumor mills worked overtime are now teeming with 'information' on the tights. Feminists and neo-feminists, masochists- everyone alike is scouring information on the revolution- Tight is IN! You are an innocent housewife stuck in time machine, cleaning, cooking and shedding tears watching soaps when it dawns on you. The full page advertisement beckoning you to the "world of 18 again" on Sunday Times interests you.
The women of India are now 'liberated', thanks to the 'yummy mummies' who flaunt their reed thin bodies in twitter and 'silicon beauties' who strip and flash in every tabloid. Fifty shades of grey is the new Holy Book and here comes the Holy Gel to anoint you- the 18 again cream. Ah, and it comes in discreet packaging as the website claims! And that too at a throw away price of Rs. 7290/- Wow...the cost enough to run a family of four for a month, as per our 'planning commission chief'.
Nose jobs, 'extra' fittings, lip pouts, liposuctions- what not to get the 'killer looks'? Women don't worry about the number of times they go through the knife- they are bothered about the 'rejults'. See our own Shilpa Shetty- she had the priced catch, post the nose job! Raj wouldn't mind the nose when it looks tiny on a grown face. Boney doesn't mind Sridevi's you see! After all the outer shells, now they crack the ice- creams and gels to enhance inner tightening!
Do you mind if 70% of girl children in the BPL depend on their free sanitary napkins issued by the government to tide away those 'three' days? Nah. Why would you? You sink in Poison, have multiple cosmetic surgeries, wear designer labels and drive flashy cars and poor men with equal aplomb! The only missing part in the puzzle is now gifted to you- the vaginal tightening gel! Now that you got all that you wanted, Dr Macmohan would now be offering his prayers fearing repetition of Togo's fiasco. Perhaps women can gain expert advise on 'withholding sex' from Togolese women who are on a sex strike against their President. Crossing the legs, spreading 18 again and refusing sex at home can make someone SPEAK!!! How liberating! How exhilarating!
Let us embrace 18 again and attain 'inner' nirvana! All at the cost of 7000 bucks. Oh, the ingredients of the cream- gold(?), aloe vera, pomegranate, almonds, dhataki, vallarai ( centella), almost the ingredients of a 'different' curry, except the gold part makes it deliciously edible too!! Good luck, women of India, say bye bye to lose skin, welcome 'tight' liberation! Regain your virginity, that is imperative than your freedom!
For those poor souls who can't understand a single line of this 'intellectual' blabber, go through this 18 again advertisement!