Friday, 24 February 2012

Khan-omania!

I am suffering from a unique disorder- Khanomania! I want to live life, Khan size... Wonder why? Lot of slapping and punching going on around the country now, starting from our very own Chotte Nawab aka Nawab of "punch"audi- Saif Ali Khan! What makes these people lose their cool and attack the ordinary and mundane? Being an advocate of ahimsa and someone who always preaches kindness to all living beings, i find these incidents rather err...amusing! What makes political bigwigs and moviedom High and Mighty feel they are above ordinary? The masses...we the dumb idiots who pay for their lavish cars that zip by, their uber cool designer clothing that we help them earn. And what nerve they got to punch us in a restaurant where we dine!

The whole wide world watches with shock the tattered rug wearing Little Prince walk out of the police station, just 90 minutes after the incident wearing a sheepish grin. And the man who got punched- Iqbal Sharma is still nursing his fractured nose. All i wonder is, how would Kareena handle the punches from the rugged and raunchy Nawab? Do the Khans always twist the law around their tiny wagging fingers? Yes, i must say! Yeh hai Indiaaaah! You can always call the shots if you have a few bucks, if you sport a six pack abdomen and always walk the ramps with a naked upper torso. Ask the brooding Khan and he will guide how to kill black bucks to please the lady loves of the movies and get away with it! And oh, you can always plead you never knew black buck was an endangered species.
Ahhhhhh...there he flaunts his abs!

Or you can even drive your land cruiser on the foot path and kill a man and wound a dozen, hide at home for eight hours till the alcohol in your blood wanes away and 'surrender'. Wah, wah, Salmanjhi, natak kya banayi! And trust me, you can always get off with it, see, our Sallu bhai walked away to live happily ever after. Thank Heavens, Bachchan Bahu escaped unscathed...And our Khan's love obsession for 'body guards' has reached astronomical proportions that he has named his latest flick that! 

Nawab Saif Ali Khan is no better. Marrying an actress 12 years elder to him, dumping her unceremoniously for a supermodel who went missing ASAP, using his guards to beat up paparazzi, beating up journalists for writing about then wife, hitting a gay activist and apologizing later- he has his fair share of trials and tribulations. Too much of fame and money is drugging the Khans. The King of all Khans too fares worse in the violent meter...The 'slap gate' scandal with Sirish Kunder got him all bad reviews. All said, poor me now wants to do some slapping and punching, get away with it and live happily ever after. What else would be a better option than following the Khans? Come on guys, bare your shirts, punch, slap and you can always get away with that sheepish grin. Bollywood awaits you and your 'Dard-e-disco' act!!! Have fun watching this!


p.s.: Dedicating this post to the Khans of Bollywood
p.p.s: Is there a Court where i can sue the sun for scorching my city and making me all sooty? ( I pretend it is sun tan;))
p.p.p.s.: My maid is going on a leave this sunday. God save my family from my food. AMEN!

24 comments:

  1. They do seem to get away with a LOT of crap, no? And what amazingly slippery laws we have.

    P.S: Make butter chicken and make a food post out of it :D

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    1. Thanks PeeVee! yes, the brats always get out of brawls unscathed...Butter chicken? Recipe, please...

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  2. LOL LOL :D funniest post !
    wish KHANS must read....
    MAID ON HOLIDAY.. POOR YOU !

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    1. Thanks for the comment Deepak. Hope they do read;) Yes, poor me...sob..sob...And poor children forced to idlis all the day!

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  3. LOL...I wish even I have that surname. BTW, I feel they all yell standing on their balconies - MY NAME IS KHAN.

    Thank God they have to eat food cooked by you. I am a epic disaster when it comes to cooking and my brave husband bears with me every single day...

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    1. That makes it two people on the same boat;)Ask about my cooking, the entire area clears off in a jiffy when madamji gets ready with her favorite plate of biryani:P Thanks for the comment, Saru!

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    2. The Khans have this opinion about themselves that is larger than life- poor chaps they confuse their screen personna with their real selves. I feel bad for Sharmila- imagine having to deal with the idea of bahu with size zero brains...? The Nawab ofcourse must be executing somersaults down in his grave!

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    3. Very true, Meera!And LOL on the size zero brain comment;) Poor Mansoor Ali...

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  4. Sick of these shenanigans.If found guilty, the wrong doers should be punished.Loved the last line. From serious to ridiculous you only can move with effortless ease.Thank the ready made batter for idlis, you can do no harm!!!

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    1. Wow! Thats some idea. Had idlis in the morning, will have it in the night too...Watch out, my son is searching for the person who gave Mommy the weirdest idea of idli on a sunday morning:P

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  5. Hhahahahaha I wish they could read it!!!!! Obviously Saif Ali kahn cant fly down to punch you :P...nor can Salman drive over you!
    Poor kids!! My Mother undergoes the same trauma when the maid is on leave!

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Red:) Hope i am safe from the Khans as of now;) Its not the mother that undergoes trauma here, its the bunch of lab rats at home that have to appease their taste buds on Momma's cooking:P

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  6. ROFL! Cool post and dedication to the khans! I have khanophobia!!

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    1. Hey Vaish...you know what, we both can claim patents to the two most beautifully coined words- Khanomania and Khanophobia!!! LOL!!! Thanks for the comment.

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  7. Hmm...I wouldn't judge that quickly! They are humans too, it's normal to react when provoked! And we always tend to assume the worst about them

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Purba. We are all judgemental, true. But what to infer of serial offenders?

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  8. The surname is hyped and its gone in their heads and ours as well :P You are diseased with khan o mania and they seem to be floating on cloud nine.. always! Here's hoping things get better at both the ends! ;)

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    1. LOL!!! Arti, that was a cute comment;)

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  9. haha..."We are Khans and we are NOT criminals. We do break laws but we walk out of the police station with a sheepish grin." No, I am not a KHAN!! And I hope they are reading this :P
    Save your family with the ready-to-eat food available in the market or pray that she is back soon :)

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    1. Hey CD, welcome to my blog:) I too wish they read this, unbutton their shirts and jump from their thirty storey something apartment and shout- MY NAME IS KHAN!!! God answered my prayers, she is back:P Hope to see you back here, following you:)

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  10. Kanoon ki hath badi choti hai

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    1. Rama...LOL!!! kanoon ki hath badi ya choti hai?;)

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  11. Err...I wud say this was a Khan-tastic post about the Khan-tigiri happening in our country :D

    Seems you have certainly survived the maid-less Sunday..hehehehe

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    1. Khantastic post? LOL!!! Thaks for the sweet comment, Zackandme:)

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