Wednesday 7 December 2011

Could i borrow your pen, please?

I try to keep myself busy by looking at the phone that doesn't ring and then scribble some rubbish on the paper nearby. The man standing before me refuses to take the cue and just keeps on hanging. Oh my...should i or should i not? My dilemma deepens and i look up at him trying to put up a stern face, that never comes so easily to me...Even the dumbest of the dumb men would look at my stern serious face and feel like giggling! This one looked smart and i knew he wouldn't budge. And he shoots his question, that question i have dreaded the past two minutes- "Madam, can i have your pen?" Gritting my teeth, i make a wry face and hand him over my pen gingerly. He accepts it gratefully. I check on how he writes, he holds it carefully and starts writing. Thank God, his nails are properly trimmed. Hallelujah! His hand is neat.


He seems to be engrossed in his writing and finally looks up and slowly moves the pen to his mouth. Oh no! I almost shriek in silence,  but the nut case chews the tip of my pen...MY PEN, absently. I glare at him, which he fails to notice as always. He chews quarter of an inch before he fills up his application form and by that time, i am resigned to my fate, THAT pen is going into the dustbin. He says a meek ' thank you' and hands my pen over. I use my 'tissue' paper and pick it up after he is gone, chuck it in the dustbin and take out my new pen. Reynolds has been showing profits all these years just because of  me! 




I hate to lend pens and i try my level best to say a NO when people ask for pens in the counter. I am not that unhelpful, but i just can't bear it to see my pen being chewed upon, used to scratch the back, scratch the head and once, clean the ears! My strict policy is " Say NO to lend a pen". I found myself in a tragic situation once, in a nationalised bank. I went to deposit some money and promptly took a pay in slip. Only when i looked up in my bag did i find out that i had forgot it back at home. I tried to borrow from the person standing next in the queue and he showed me a pen hanging in front of the counter. Thanking him and my lucky stars, i headed to the counter where the pen hung. 


All of my five feet frame could not reach the pen how much ever i jumped! I cursed my forefathers who were short, my PET master who didn't teach me high jump properly and my short heeled slippers. The pen was hanging from the countertop tied with a tight string, which might have been heavier than an iron chain. As i tried to pull it down, the string snapped and the pen fell on the floor. I could feel atleast a hundred eyes watching me and as i picked it up and tried to write, it refused to write, as anticipated. I shook it vigorously, blew it from the back and even tried to hit it- Sardarji ishcooter style, it refused to budge. Damn! I muttered a silent curse when Mr. Right arrived from nowhere. He looked at me and advised, " Madam, the pen is for everyone's use, don't take it for yourself". That is when i exploded, " As if it writes!" Mr Right glared at me and picked it up to write. Smiling sweetly, i left the bank as Mr Right was jumping, shaking and blowing...trying to make the pen write!


I have been wondering of late, why don't people keep a pen in their shirt pockets and women in their handbags...The next time you approach the lady at the counter asking for a pen...remember you are asking for trouble with a Capital T!

26 comments:

  1. You haven't mentioned about those who take your pen and conveniently forget to return it or about the cautious owner who retains the cap before parting with the pen.In my case I forget the face of the person who borrowed or from whom I borrowed as they move from one counter to the other.I linger for a while before I make an exit with or without the pen!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Interesting post. So true, people seldom return a pen borrowed. It is disgusting to see them chew the tip or use it otherwise. As for those found hanging at credit card counters or bank hardly work.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even I've had to give up so many of my pens because of random idiots borrowing them and chewing on them. Ewww! How difficult is it to carry a pen in your pocket or purse? I dont get it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ KP- LOL at your comment;) Yes, i forgot to write about that clan who retain the caps and hand over the pens...I can imagine how it is trying to decipher the person to whom you lent your pen in a long queue!

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ LKrupaa- Yes, very true. People always tend to forget when they borrow pens:) It reminds me of Stephen Leacock's Lost Dollar:P

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Girlatfirstavenue- Thanks for the comment dear. I too am wondering if a pen weighs more than a ton, that people can't carry in their pockets or purses:)))

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ cloud nine I am one of those culprits.. I NEVER can find a pen when I need it and I always borrow one. Though I don't chew or clean my ears with a pen, what I probably do with it is even more dangerous- I take it away with me and when people want it back I can't find it... sometimes people say I even forget that I borrowed a pen from them. In the office whenever I approach anyone's desk I see them whisking their pens from the top into the drawers!!! You will have to Ignore me I am sorry should you meet me in a railway reservation counter or in a bank LOL! Lovely post. Good to see the other side to this problem

    ReplyDelete
  8. Meera:))) All smiles:))) I will sure run away if i see you ever in bank or reservation office;) We are blessed people that we are more bothered about global problems than locating trivialities like a pen:P

    ReplyDelete
  9. Such discerning eye for minute detail...like Purba, you have this ability to make the mundane interesting.
    I hate to admit that I do that too(put the pen in my mouth)..sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your post reminded me of my travels in bus, for if by chance I don't have the exact bus fare, it really spoils my whole trip, for I cannot rest in peace till i get my change back, my eyes would keep following the cunning conductor( men/ women), and keep asking them to give me my change, and I get more restless as they pretend not to have it. I can't even allow them to have my 50 paisa too.I always carry exact bus fare, but sometimes it happens i don't know the amount and land up feeling miserable till I get my money back.
    I think in your case you too should have some pens ready to give to such irritating people, why give your pen and suffer.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice post ,& the way you have written it makes this simple matter very interesting too.
    Your story 'The rain -kissed 'is really very touchy ,thanks for writing & sharing such a nice one.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Heheheh.. it was funny but true.. the same is the case with me.. I hate people who chew pen or pencils.. I find it dirty.. cheeeeee... I wouldn't even touch such pens..!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. @ Alka- Thank you:) Purba is a GENIUS, dear! And i am just a beginner...Hope i live up to your expectations:)))

    ReplyDelete
  14. @ Rama- LOL at your bus experience:)I too have met such situations and it is disgusting to keep watching the conductor like a puppy:P Same is the case with pens too!

    ReplyDelete
  15. @ Satviki- Welcome to my blog:) Thanks for the comment, glad you liked my posts:)

    ReplyDelete
  16. @ Madhulika- Hahaha! Same here too:P Thanks for the comment:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. aaaaaaaareeeee.e...same pinch! Reynolds shud make me thr brand ambassador!!
    I hate it when they chew like it is thr and even when I m scanning then down, it just doesnt ignite thr senses!!

    Gaaaah! Everyone shud and must carry a pen.

    ReplyDelete
  18. ha ha..what a wonderful post out of something so ubiquitous! wonderful...

    ReplyDelete
  19. @ Redhanded- Brand ambassador?LOL!!! Better be careful next time you chew a pen:P

    ReplyDelete
  20. @ Phatichar- Welcome to my blog, dude! Thanks for the lovely comment. See you again:)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Interesting and amusing post! Yes, pens do have their own story to tell. This reminded me of my school and college days when the borrowing and not returning business is most commonly seen. I used to keep an extra pen just for lending purposes and had a separate one for myself :P

    ReplyDelete
  22. In this era of laptops,computers,iPads and being a software engineer, I rarely get a chance to use pen that too only in Bank to fill some slip or signatures on cheques...still I always carry a pen in my handbag to make sure I dnt hv to borrow someon e else's pen..and I think that's good hait isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Rofl!! I totally agree with this post.
    I don't even like giving my pen to my classmates!

    ReplyDelete
  24. @ Arti! Thanks for the comment. I love this two pen policy:P

    ReplyDelete
  25. @ Maverickshree- Welcome tmy blog:) Yes, you are wonderful, my kin dof person. It is always better to own one than to borrow one or lend one;)

    ReplyDelete
  26. @ Happygolucky, welcome to my blog:) We all are the same, never like to give, but love to borrow:P

    ReplyDelete

Hey, just let me know your feedback:)