Thursday, 22 March 2012

POWERful Amma and "power"less people!

I had to reboot my system twice before i could finish this post- thanks to TNEB. I singularly, happily, sparingly, affectionately dedicate this post to TNEB- Tamil Nadu Electricity Board that has made us TamilNadu Elichavayar Board;) ( for those who do not understand Tamil, elichavayar means someone who miserably trusts and is failed.)

Day after day after day, night after night, we have been praying the power cuts stop, or atleast dwindle.Much to our chagrin what started as a mere three hour power shedding has now burgeoned into 10 to 12 hours a day. Imagine spending half your productive day without power, sweating and panting in this summer when the mercury shoots above 40 degrees celsius. As average tax payer who pays all taxes on time and all bills before due, i fail to understand why my inverter fails me too...And it was with bewildered daze when i read today's newspaper that TNEB received windfall gains to the tune of Rs 26584 crores in coal allotment. All this gain and still they are running at a loss??? Well, as aam admis, how to solve the power problem?


1. Chennai Challo!
Ah..Amma has spared the capital city of power cuts. It is just an hour of power cut there, that too from eight am to nine am. So, better, pack the bags and shove our ***es out of the goddamn two tier cities and rural areas. I do envy the Chennaiites, not because of the flashy roads and cars, but because brethren, you have something that we don't have- POWER! Let us all gyrate to Chennai Challo...Chennai Challo!

2. Back in time machine
Let us go back to good old black and white days, before the British and before Edison invented the electric bulb. It would be bonfires to keep us warm at nights and every household can boast of a Florence Nightingale grappling in the dark with lamps. Our Ladies with the Lamps- sans make up, have the power to scare ghosts of the entire world into oblivion! We could all travel in a time machine and meet Mr Edison and his ilk and beg them not to discover or invent electricity, our Amma would pay for the trip, including food and stay;) Oh..it will be a trip for two, so take your partner tagging along! 

3. Buy back offers and pankhas
Ammi where we grind masalas
Ammi, aatukkal walahs can earn a fortune by having buy back offers. Women of the house, get ready to sell your wet grinders, mixers and fans and buy stone pestels, mortars, grinding stones and hand fans. Manufactures can even give offers "Buying a pestel mortar? Get a mixer free!" All Saravana stores, Rathna stores and the likes can now stock ammis and aatukkals! As for hand fans? We can tap the unorganised sector and provide jobs to millions. Go the British way! use pankhas and use pankha men or women to get you air! 

4. Indian Population Control Board
If there is any such Indian Population Control Board, we can file a suit along with them against the TN government. Buggers, they switch off power at unearthly hours...errrrrr...what do we do when there is no fan, no TV and no light? Resort to the oldest game of all times;) No wonder TN's population will alarmingly increase in the next five six months...babies in the making, you see! More babies means more households and again more power demand. Ammaji, our perpetual Chief Minister, please note! 
Ah..that is our Finance Minister, at the feet of our Amma!
Power supply to poor people of TamilNadu sans Chennai city will be erratic in many more months to come. Instead of huffing and puffing, like good old citizens of our country we have learnt to live with it. Other valuable suggestions too are welcome. Any suggestions, folks?

p.s.: Our power cut schedule everyday is from 9 am to 12 pm, 3 pm to 6 pm, 6.45 pm to 7.30 pm, 9 pm to 10 pm, 11.15 pm to 12 am, 1.15 am to 2 am, 4.15 to 5 am. So how the hell will my inverter work???
p.p.s.: Amma has won Sankarankovil bye election and immediately has announced Kudankulam plant's functioning with immediate effect. Was she waiting for the elections so far? Hail vote bank politics!
p.p.p.s.: Kudos to Didi for shunting out poor Dinesh Dwivedi. Seriously makes me wonder do we need women in politics? Though i like the feel of Meira Kumar's "Baith Jayiye! Please Bhaith Jayiye" and histrionics of Sushma Swaraj in her saree over sweater style drape;)

34 comments:

  1. OMG!! hahahaha.....This is hilarious! My stomach hurts :D Chennai chalo :D
    Loved your offers! Now that summers have begun, it will be same thing in Delhi here :(
    Your p.p.p.s.- hahahahaha.........

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    1. Hey CD...thanks for the comment, girl! So it will be Delli Belli...for you people too??? Poor us:(

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  2. very like your blog! ")
    we have almost the same situation here in the Southern part of the Philippines - daily scheduled power cuts! interestingly, there's a rumor (if not close to the truth) that the main reason why the government imposed power cuts is to make people believe that we need to allow mining in the country. silly, right?? hehe

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    1. Hey Raki...thanks for your comment. Same woes in Phillipines too?? Too bad, we public are taken for a ride. In India powercuts continue because of bad planning by subsequent governments:((( Welcome to my blog, dear!

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  3. Electricity supply in Nigeria is no different! They are a pain in the butt! am on my battery now, as i type..no light for the past 24hours! My area is still better off, some area is like a month! Every body owns a generator, and Nigeria, is the 2nd highest in generator purchaser in the whole world! Many people have 2 generators: One in the morning, the other at night! smh...would soon put on the generator now, when the kids return from school, because of the heat! #so angry#

    Like your analogy to Amma....she must be a very powerful woman! Read about her sometime past in your blog or is it Meera's? #can't remember# :D

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    1. Awww..Ibhade! Same pinch, same pinch:P I wish i too had a generator handy. Sadly, they are now starting a tax on power generated from gensets too:( Powerful woman, yes;) I have already written on her. we love her a lot;)))

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  4. Oh dear god! This is ridiculous! Hail and long live Amma. When she attends a meeting, the whole street uses so much of electricity! For a moment, it feels like people have started to live in Stone age! Most of my folks are from chennai, so I had no clue whatsoever is happening outside of Chennai Chalo! It's amma's kottai. So she's kept it with min 1 hour. What will the small industries, mills, and businesses do now?

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    1. Thanks for the comment,Vaish. Yes, the power cuts are now atrocious that even our inverters don't work. Most small industries around Coimbatore and Tirupur have downed their shutters:(

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  5. This is so hopeless. We crib about power cuts in Bangalore, but they are not as bad as other cities. My inverter gets charged. These people cannot concentrate on the basics for their people. I hate all of them. And yes, doesn't look like having women in politics is doing any good for anyone. They are as ruthless, power hungry and corrupt as they come.

    http://rachnaparmar.com

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    1. True, Rachna! Women in politics= DISASTER! Be happy you are in Bangalore:)

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  6. A Hilarious indictment of TNEB, or rather Amma, and the continued 'Elichavayar'(I don't know Tamil but suspected something foul anyway!) Wonderfully written but sadly may not cut ice with either of the two wicked things you talked of.

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    1. Umashankar:)))Welcome to my blog and thanks for the comment:)

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  7. Yes Cloud nine - amma deserves a kick on her B-TT! Don't envy us Chennaites we are now poised for one complete day without power!! The women leaders are no better than men- look at what happens when the puppet begins to think? Didi cuts the power chord!

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    1. LOL!!! Didi, Maya and Jaya..Dear God, please save us from these women! Thanks for the comment, Meera.

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  8. Well, even in my hometown the situation is like this. My MIL was saying it happened in winters so be prepared for summers. I don't know much about power cuts as I lived in power house colonies, Chandigarh and HP, all these places have minimum/zero powercuts. But, I can imagine your situation...

    Hilarious take on the situation. You shed quite a load of grudge...

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    1. Lucky you! We have been suffering from powercuts right from our childhood days...now the case is far worse. All we can do is make fun of ourselves;)

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  9. I have a friend over there at your place. Even he was telling me about these load shedding. It is a real pain to be without electricity.
    You said correctly, these stupid and dumb politicians are screwing up the nation and its always 'us' who suffers.
    God save us!!

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    1. True, madhu! They take us for a toss. While they enjoy 100% power both in ruling and electricity, we are the unfortunate ones:( Thanks for the comment.

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  10. Bing a Speaker, the only words that come out of her mouth is"Baith jaiyi' and repeating it a thousand times, makig us want too shout at her " chup ho jaiyi, aap please jara shanti se chup ho jaiyi.
    Amma's power should be cut, she is acting as if all powerful, with her eyes on the Gaddi at the center.

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    1. May be one day she would acquire the gaddi. It is reserved for women anyway:P Maya, Jaya and Sonya...all women in the fray. Poor Meira:P

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  11. We are fed up of Power cuts here too in Mumbai,,,Its not the ammi and aatukal sellers gaining profits here thanks to less number of Idli - dosa consumers,,! here invertors are in great demand dese days..and they are reaping big benefits too,,,but I would indeed thank Mumbai neta babus for unlike you guys,, we get power enough to charge our invertors for rest of the day!

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    1. Ha...lucky you! Mumbai babus do care for you people, not like our TN netas. You still like idlis and dosas???

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  12. Bangalore is no different.. :)

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    1. Welcome to my blog, Phatichar. Bangalore is no different, right...You are unique, you have Yeddy and the ilk:P

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  13. There are no power cuts at my place in Mumbai (lucky me!!) but I can very well imagine your situation. As it is, summer heat is unbearable and add to it the power cuts.. terrifying situation surely must be! Interesting solutions to solve the problem CN, hoping well for the powerless people of TN!

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    1. Yes Arti...Terrifying and itchy:( Summer at its height and relentless power cuts to top it. Hell is here! Thanks for the comment:)

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  14. I can very well understand your situation !!
    My old home faced a little minor version of this problem,
    Though now, it feels like heaven!:D:D
    Take care:)
    May the situations improvise!

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    1. Ah...so, you had a great escape, huh?;) Welcome to my blog, Kinara! and thank you for the comment. Situation is going from bad to worse with summer sending mercury shooting...

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  15. Chennai two facing two hours of power cut in the morning hours, so I can easily see my selves in your predicament. We can't do a thing, all we can do is wait for the electricity shortage to be over soon.

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    1. Welcome to my blog, Rohit! Thanks for the comment. Keep your fingers crossed, there is a proposal to increase the two hour cut to four hours;)

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  16. Whoa!!! Like you are serious about the power cut timings? *eyes protruding*
    And I used to crib the daily 11am-12pm & 7-6pm power cut in Odisha..! Now I feel guilty.. :(
    I like the idea of time travel...but how do we travel back to present after advising Edison?And incidentally...why poor Edison?He only patented the light bulb :P

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    1. Hahaha! Hope your eyes have gone back to the original position:P Odisha...oh boy, wish i was born there;) Just two hrs there? Wonderful...you must be living in Heaven! Should we come back here to this mad bad world, Rinaya? Better off in last century;) Poor Edison...if he had not invented bulb, others wouldn't have followed suit:)

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  17. I am karthik from madurai
    Exellant article! The title of the article is SUPERB!
    I want to share my views on the horiible powercut in tamilnadu by a song (based on Mr.Thanush'song on kolaiveri)

    Hello Boys.. I am Singing Song..
    Soup Song.. Flop Song..

    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?
    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?
    Rhythm Correct....
    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?
    Maintain this...
    Why this Min vettu Dee ?

    Power'ru cut'tu daily daily
    Daily business out'tu
    People life'fu sad'du sad'du
    Government function bad'du

    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?
    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee

    Night'tu vantha dark'ku dark'ku
    dark'ku color'ru Black'ku
    Dark'le come'mu thief'fu thief'fu
    Thief'fu give'vu grief'fu

    Mama, Notes Eduthuko..
    Apdiye Kaila Šnacks Èduthukø..
    Papapa Papapapa Papapa Pa Pa..
    Šeriya Vaasi..
    Šuper Mama Ready.. Ready 1 2 3 4..
    What A Change Over Mama..
    Ok Mama.. Nøw Tune Change'ju..

    Kaile torch'chu...Only English'sa..
    Hand'la torch'chu
    Torch'chile light'tu
    Work'ku full'la tight'tu

    Mosquitto bite'tu
    No sleep'pu night'tu
    People come to street'tu

    Cut'tu Cut'tu
    Power'ru cut'tu
    People suffer'ru lot'tu
    Stop'pu Stop'pu
    Soon'nu Stop'pu
    People want power'ru now'vu
    God Souths are suffering now'vu
    Chennai is happy how'vu?
    This song'gu for suffering Souths'su
    People want remedy now'vu.

    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?
    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?
    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?
    Why this Min vettu Min vettu Min vettu Dee ?

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    1. OMG!!! Karthik!!! Hahaha! Tummy aches laughing brother:) Such a song...what a song mama! Thanks for the song here:)))

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