NOBLE IS OURS!

This post has been selected as Blogadda's Tangy Tuesday Picks, Oct 11, 2011. Thank you, Blogadda!

This post is dedicated to my friend Jeyanth. ( You give 'some' ideas mate!!!)


We hold our hands tightly together and step on the red carpet. I look at Gajalalita on my right. She gives my hand a tight squeeze and a knowing smile. She always has the charm, back from her old Diva days, you see. And the lady in white on my left frowns and peers at the stage. She hates travel by air and that has probably made her irritable. Why the hell there are no trains between India and Europe? Jiji loves traveling only by train. May be in her next term as Minister, she would introduce a Jan Noble Express from Kolkata to Europe. Her army of supporters would sell rasagollas enroute! I try to pull my dupatta and cover my dusty black shoes. Oh my...where is my PSO? Damn, that dumb*** was supposed to wipe my shoes with his fresh new handkerchief. Rolling my eyes, i think of my brown peep toe Jimmy Choos sandals. Good that i have ordered a chartered flight, to bring it from Mumbai.

Image courtesy- TOI

Holding hands together, we trio march through the applauding crowd and reach our guest seats. Gajalalita occupies the largest seat- she needs two chairs atleast to sit comfortable. Jiji curls up in the smaller one and i sit comfortably in my chair, crossing my legs. I see my shoe again and lose control. I gesture to my PSO who seems totally distant, embroiled in his own dreams. May be i must make him wipe my shoes for five more years, i muse. How disobedient! I am seething in anger and my eyes point to my shoe. Jack*** doesn't pick my clue and keeps smiling idiotically at the flashing cameras. I wish i had worn something flashy like Gajalalita's green Kanjeevaram saree with her trademark 'ottiyanam' ( hip chain). The diamonds of her ottiyanam twinkle in the shimmering lights. Alas, she looks longingly at the lady seated behind her. They share an intimate lopsided smile and i am rolling my eyes upwards. These women!

Image courtesy- foreskinpress.wordpress.com

Jiji is always my hot favourite. I love her Bengali attire- simple but sweet. What i can't comprehend, is her twisting lips when she speaks her Bengali. Boy, if she wins the next elections, we three could change India for good. We would redraw the entire nation's map. We could shift Indian capital from Soniji's Delhi abode to Kolkata.  10, Janpath is too crowded these days. And wait till we three lift this Noble Piece Prize- we will change the world for good. Obama would come calling telling- "change is inevitable". We would replace the Statue of Liberty with my own and name every street in our capital serially as Jayawati Road1, 2, 3...Jiji would take care of all the ministerial portfolios and Gajalalita would go on a long vacation with her soulmate Jesikala to her Iyderabad vineyard or Todanad Tea Estate. Happily these women would help me in changing India and the world.

Look at our reactions when the Prize is announced!

 "I am extremely happy that Noble Piece Prize is awarded to all three of us" , i boom on stage. The whole world is watching us...I wait for the organizers to garland me before giving away the award. What a futile wait...They hand me a silly bouquet! I was hoping for a Euro currency garland, the size of my earlier Indian one...Misers! Finally we three hold hands together and receive our Prize and smile away for the media. Women power! Wait till we get back to India folks...we will give Soniji a run for her money! And i sincerely wish Horlicks casts all three of us in their next ad campaign for Womens' Horlicks. Or better still, Hero Honda Pleasure's next brand ambassadors would be just the three of us- " Why should boys have all the fun???"

P.S.: All characters in the above story are fictitious. Any resemblance to anyone alive or dead is Purely Coincidental! The pictures depicted are illustrative only;)