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Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Playing the Daddy's game!

As L Junior shouts in her loud shrill voice- " Families are big, families are small", all i can do is smile...Ah! Families...They can be anything- big, large, extra large, cute, bad, loud, silent but they can never be SMALL! I wish i was born to Chin Mun Ho or Hu Jintao even, but not in India. Families in China are uber cool, super small- One family, one child. Alas! our forefathers had nothing proper to do, rather than enjoying their hobby- playing Dad! They loved to play the Daddy's game again and again that catapulted India as a major player in population. Little did the Government do to control the population, that by the time they woke up to reality- a nation bursting to its seams with people, enough damage was done. The machinery got to work overtime to stop Daddy's machineries going on top gear. Pro natalistic attitude took a back seat in the 80's when wherever we went, we were hounded by NGOs and Government advertisements begging us to follow Hum dho, hamare dho. This was of course followed by poor Daddys who found their wallets shrinking. 
 
The symbol of family planning in India
Even as China and India embarked on sterner drives to combat population explosion, Indian families continued their quest for that son who would carry forward the family name. Awaiting that baton bearer, Daddys and Mommys had many more girls on the way. What not did the Government do to stop us? They tried to teach us contraception- the youth hooked on to it instantaneously. They taught us abstinence...What abstinence? Hahaha! We abstained from using condoms. They installed vending machines to sell condoms, they gave tonnes of condoms free everywhere...( so much so that we saw little children play balloons!) but the average Indian male refused to budge.  

Proactive thinkers we are- aren't we? We were advised of sterilisation and vasectomy. Our super egoistic males refused to even listen about vasectomy. As women, we bear the brunt of population control measures- almost 60 to 70% of us are subject to sterilisation, whether we like it or not! Another sizeable amount of women bloat and suffer the side effects of IUDs...all just because, Daddy wouldn't stop his game, or play it safe...Boy, would we love to trade places with men, when it comes to family planning issues. Now comes the morning after pill that finds its way to the most inopportune places- you know where. Even following all these, we are giving a stiff fight to the Chinese, we sure will beat them here. What if we can't beat them at the Asian Games? We can beat them at daddy's game! Go India GOOOO!!!

And following suit is Daddy Beckham...The Beckhams have been branded "bad example" for families. No, no, not because of the soccer antics of Mr Beckham or the fashionista Victoria. It is just because the Beckhams have just added their fourth child to the family.

Poor Beckhams...anything they do, negative press. I say, we give amnesty to Beckhams. We make them our role models in welcoming that baby girl!  We shall send them to Rajasthan and Bihar to educate the importance of girl children. Daddy Beckham must be made Brand Ambassador of Girl Children. Every girl child born will receive an autographed soccer ball from Daddy Beckham and a signature Beckham perfume free for every girl child from Victoria! We Indians are suckers of freebies and so...a soccer ball and a perfume can do the magic of curtailing female feticide and infanticide. Playing the Daddy's game is just cake walk, these days. Who cares about population explosion anyway? Cancun and Copenhagen forgot the issue and so let us too conveniently forget. After all, as per age- old Indian values, " Children are Gift from God- the more, the better!"

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18 comments:

  1. Red Handed19 July 2011 at 05:33

    Abstinance? Such a strong word :p
    we dnt believe in how our actions affect the whole population thing as such. All we wnt is a son to b tr to do our last rights.
    Perfect post! The Beckams are always under the media scan...poor them.he whole population thing as such. All we wnt is a son to b tr to do our la

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  2. Anonymous19 July 2011 at 14:47

    hahahahahahhaaa...i always enjoy your satire write-ups...reading btw the lines is fun...abstain from condom instead?...that did it for me...yeah, for the PRECIOUS MALE HEIR that had taken many women to their GRAVES! Nigeria is just like that! it's now 'enlightenment' is taking place but at a snail's pace...i had 2 daughters first, i felt the 'why' from my husband's family so when GOD gave me 2 sons later, i don't hesitate to 'rub' it on their faces!...jeez! so i was amused when the BECKHAMS were 'looking' for a daughter...it #hit# me that this 'sex/gender issue is really deep...yes daughters are good, but sons are better & having both is the best! REALLY???...i ask...but reality shows that daughters are more caring & concerned about their parents more than sons who simply send in the money but concentrate on their families & biz.... personally, am still more closer to my own parents than my in-laws & spend more time with them, likewise my SILs from both sides...so maybe that is why Beckhams wanted a daughter at all means..so when the 'boys' go 'away' she would still have a part of her & see her grandkids often.

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  3. KParthasarathi19 July 2011 at 15:22

    Enjoyed the tongue in the cheek sarcasm and humour.But it seemed you were unfair to daddys.What about mommys?Were they not also part of the game and what prevented them to refuse to play where the rules are not followed?
    All said, there is a greater awareness to family planning in South India than in North.High literacy is the key to control this burgeoning population and deterrent disincentives like compulsory sterilisation if couples have two kids.
    Unlike China, ours is a democracy and our government has less elbow room in restricting people.Luckily the number of legislators is still pegged to the original population level as otherwise we wld be having the population of legislators also ballooning in number!!

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  4. Cloud Nine19 July 2011 at 15:39

    Dear Red Handed, thanks for the comment. Abstinence is too meek a word than vasectomy, right?:P

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  5. Cloud Nine19 July 2011 at 15:47

    Dear KP, thanks for your visit and comment. Did i sound so partial to Mommys? Ouch! But in Indian households, women seldom have the rights to choose the number of children they want to. It is the men who dominate women in such core issues...And regarding South India, i must accept, high literacy levels sure help in controlling population explosion.

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  6. Cloud Nine19 July 2011 at 15:50

    Dear Ibhade, thanks for the comment. Glad you love the satire, most people don't! Fun to hear it is the same story in Nigeria too. East or West, it is us the women who bear the brunt of family responsibility and family planning. Girl child is always a boon, in old age, it is the girls who take care of parents. Not them boys!

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  7. Ramnath19 July 2011 at 16:50

    hi nive......good one...recent news is that by 2025 we will surpass china...good news isnt it? atleast we r numero uno in head count...haaaaaa...earlier i use to think overpopulation is the reason for all ills the country is facing...but thats the part of the problem...the problem is the we r under utlising the human resource available in our country.agreed that north is lagging behind. increase in literacy rate may bring down the population explosion. but one point u hv to note, without any communal bias i wud like to state that muslims in india dont adhere to family planning and i ve personally seen even my educated muslim friends/collegues hv minimum of 4 kids...we hv to do reality check.in this issue? what is the solution for this mentality?

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  8. R19 July 2011 at 17:51

    ahahhaha..the govt does run the 'chota parivaar sukhi parivaar' campaigns ;)

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  9. Rama Ananth19 July 2011 at 17:52

    What about out Ministers for example Laloo Yadav and Rabbarri?
    How could you forget them?
    A very entertaining and sarcastic blog.
    Bacche toh Bhagwan ki dhean hai

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  10. Anonymous19 July 2011 at 22:47

    1."our forefathers had nothing proper to do"- of course this s wat every generation may think. may b after some 20-30 Yrs our grandchildren will post the same comment on us.

    2."play the Daddy's game"-Sorry yaar ! this is biased. may b MS.Meera s influence may have induced Yu . Its a societal process.U cnt blame any body.

    3.And reg ParII of the story i agree with u 200% . Family planning operation for women is really critical. i read an articele..as the result of this operation...some necessary secretions dont reach Women's Body system whic makes thm OBESE..Whic in turn lead to Heart, Knee probs etc..etc.. abov all why to go against nature.

    4.Even my mother had stitch failure (after3-4 Yrs) so repeated the operation. so i knw how cruel it could be.

    5.ANd reg.part III of the story.. BECKAM and female kid..to go astrological..Boys were ones ..who works out the un-fulfilled desires of the fathers.And the girl babes are ones who show real LOV and what is real LOV...(ie., LOV wit out Lust) or expectations..

    And ppl who had reached fulfilment of their life or had reached their peaks ..only gal babes occur..(they dont transcend to next re-incarnation.)(egs RAJNIKANT ,B OBAMA, B CLINTON, J NEHRU,SIVASAILAM OF Amalgamations grp, < for sure the list is not to pacify me>... or gr8 performers will nt have children at all (EGS., APJ Abdul kalam, Kamarajar, AB VAJPAYEE, MG R, etc etc). Wher as fathers wit BOY kids wer to wait for one more round for en-lightment.

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  11. Cloud Nine20 July 2011 at 22:30

    Ahhhhhhh...dear Ramnath, you touched that inevitable part- Muslims and their families. Do you know in Saudi Arabia, a man can take a maximum of four wives? And imagine if each wife had atleast six or seven children ( which is often the case!)what would happen to the poor man? Muslims are always touchy on this subject, when i broached one of my Muslim friends on the subject, i was stunned when she said- " We spread Islam, thus!" May be she was naive, but to me, the main reason is the illiteracy levels of Islamic women that is alarming. Add to this illiteracy early marriages at 15 or 16 for women who keep begetting children till 40s, that is still rampant in interiors of Calicut and Mangalore areas:(

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  12. Cloud Nine20 July 2011 at 22:32

    Dear Rampyari, yes, the Government is still running the campaigns to people who are already deaf;)Thanks for the comment.

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  13. Cloud Nine20 July 2011 at 22:33

    Dear Rama, thanks for the comment. Thanks for reminding the Bihari First Family;) I almost forgot them....Now you have inspired me to write a new post on them:P

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  14. Cloud Nine20 July 2011 at 22:38

    Dear Anonymous, thanks for the detailed comment.
    1. Yes, very true
    2. Don't tell me;) Our society is basically male dominated...
    3. Glad u finally agree with me on one line atleast:P
    4. Hmm...its inhuman....poor Mom
    5. Reincarnation? Girl children??? LOL!!!

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  15. Purba22 July 2011 at 09:25

    How about heeding Ghulam Nabi Azad's advice. Apparently late night TV shows are effective in curbing our sex drive. In a way I agree with him, one look at the shows and you are ready to a Rip Van Winkle act :P

    Nice write-up.

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  16. Cloud Nine23 July 2011 at 01:32

    LOL at your comment dear Purba. Thanks for the visit and comment:)

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  17. Meera Sundararajan26 July 2011 at 11:38

    Enjoyed this post totally!!! I think we should have started with "Hum do hamara ek" right from the beginning! Jokes apart -research has shown that girl children born after one or two boys are likely to be cared for better than girls who are born after girls.. I find that in developed countries big families are the norm coz there it is a question of dealing with loneliness, besides ofcourse flaunting to the world how well to do you are to have so many children.. Big or small so long as families continue to be families offering the love and support . And as you say Daddy's seem to think that their role stops once the family is created. It is the mums who nurture them.

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  18. Cloud Nine26 July 2011 at 19:50

    Exactly right Meera. Parents prefer girl children these days, as they find dealing with old age more and more difficult:( Yes, we should have followed Hum dho, hamare dho right from the start:) Thanks for the visit and comment.

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