To bang or not to bang???

The next time you plan to bang someone cute, careful dudes and dudettes, the Court is watching. Funny, to imagine, the lady with the balance waits by your bedside trying to decide if the chick you just banged is over 18. And, dude, you sure are above 21, aren’t you? If no, then you can drink and make merry, kid. You can have as many casual flings as you can and the Justice isn’t bothered. And just in case you are over 21, you are royally screwed, my man!

The new ruling of Chennai High Court is a truly landmark judgement. “If any unmarried couple of the right legal age indulge in sexual gratification, this will be considered a valid marriage and they could be termed husband and wife.” What an amazing judgement! Hail, Milord! What if I wake up in the morning with no idea of being married to the bartender or the item girl :P

I can hear them conservatives jump up with joy at the ruling. “ That will put them youngsters at the right place. Chi. Chi. So many live in relationships, casual flings…now they will know of our culture”. Oh yes…now the number of one- night stands and casual coitus will dwindle…how scary! I am not that naïve to say one got to wait for the Mr. Right to learn what is sex. But why do we Indians have the passion to always relate sex and marriages? For God's sake, sex is just sex and marriage is something that has to last longer. Not to be decided or proved in a Courtroom! And how the Hell does one prove they had sex in the confines of one’s privacy? Film it?( Isn’t that pornography?) Or rather take sleazy pictures of the act and put it on the Court’s noticeboards?

And what is the relevance of family and the ‘mangal sutra’? The saath pherahs, the agni kund, the chain that ties the two goats (ahem, read mutually consenting adults for sex)together? Does the Court say they have no relevance or they are shitty waste of time and money? You want to get married, simple, get the chick drunk, bang her, take few pictures and voila! We pronounce you man and wife! Or the other way…you find a well settled man, a little indecisive and you are over 18, want a secure life, just start living together;) The Court will guarantee you a happily ever after…provided sense prevails and your man sticks to you.

What happens in case ‘such lawfully wedded couple’ need to break up after a one night stand? Simple- apply for a divorce, live a year in separation and two more years clearing the legal hassles. All this wait for one night of sex? By the time you get your divorce, boy would you have wished you never had a sexual apparatus in your body!

I am totally baffled…the teenie-weenie youth would now be banging their heads on bedposts, thinking- “to have or not to have”…rather “to wed or not to wed”…It would be better if the judges concentrate on clearing the cases on their benches faster than creating such ‘landmark’ judgements. And let us leave the institution of marriage outside the purview of sex. Please!

p.s.: So what is the rule for extra marital sex? Any clarifications? Just interested :P
p.p.s.: You are going to be seeing me more from now on...beware ;)
p.p.p.s.: "More" above means i am weighing a whoppy 80 kilos :P
p.p.p.p.s.: Sincere condolences to celebrity cook Nigella Lawson who was manhandled by her husband in a restaurant. Lady...better watch what you cook :P