My Secret Garden!

I am an avid gardener! I know all my kith and kin would be laughing their heads off, reading this...I grew up in a small town middle class household where there was no space whatsoever for garden, leave alone a few potted plants. Mother loved roses so much that she kept them growing in tiny flower pots- tiny pink button roses, a beautiful white creeper and the refreshingly aromatic pink Edward roses. With the little space available, she had grown her favorite plants. I have her same genes, note, not Jeans...I planted beans first, as a vivacious ten year old. It was amazing when the shoot climbed up, i remember sitting by the plant for hours together and Mother's happy smile seeing the purple flowers. 

Then i grew zinnia flowers in little pots. Anything i could lay my hands on became my flower pots- i remember the thrashing i received for using a metal bucket! S helped me further by falling on my tomato plants and breaking every twig on the poor plant. My ardent love for plants grew and grew- burgeoned till i married and found a house with lots of space for gardening. Ah, arise, awake and grow dear girl, i said to myself. We planted a few miniature crotons along the entry. L loved trees- we had the most common trees planted- coconut, banana, mango, guava, pomegranate, drumstick, all these at the rear and sides and a few lovely roses in the front patio. All went well, L loved watering the plants and i liked to sit back and watch! I was branded a lazy goosey right from time immemorial at home and so i never paid heed when taunted by everyone, for not watering the plants.

When L left, Dad took to watering and taking care of the plants followed by my beloved sister in law. I love plants, i love the flowers but there is one hindrance in going near them- the legless crawlers! With a house in reclaimed river bed and agricultural plots, what more can you expect? Snakes, loads and loads of them, visit us every week! They enjoy basking in the tropical sun inhaling the exotic night queen flowers and jasmine flowers that bloom every evening. And their presence is so unnerving to me that i hate to enter my garden anytime of a day! When i hear the word Snake...i jump up on my cot! There are so many varieties- cpmmon green snakes, garden snakes, vipers and occasionally, we have been visited by kraits. I had the experience of seeing my son cycling away happily with a water snake acting his pilot! Weighing my options, i had decided gardening is not so important when you are frightened by an ardent army of snakes. 

Having lost the love for gardening, I love to watch dad water the plants and I restrict myself to watching the squirrels play in the coconut tree, the frogs jump out of the banana tree and the little sparrows building nests on the night queen climber. As for gardening and my flair for it, I keep to myself playing on Farmville!!! Hail, Facebook, hail, Farmville!

WMF???

I walk into my office after a rickety bus ride and enter huffing and puffing. I try to plaster a smile to my twitched lips and feel it parched and dry. I want to lick it wet and go about my business, but wait- You can't do it here! This is my office- the sanctum sanctorum of work ethic, code of conduct and code of blah*blah*I can conveniently forget about my looks and sit in my seat stoically. I try to look neat and in proper order, my colleagues brand me a fashion-crazy brat! I methodically carry a tiny mirror, a comb, a lip-gloss, little loose face powder and a few tissues. But seldom do i use it in office, just for the fear i may be branded a brat...

Every morning when i enter the office, that full length mirror starts mocking me and by mid day, every customer who turns out at the counter looks at me bemused. Some look bewildered at the state of my hair- sticking out in all directions, 360 degrees...The oil from my hair has a mind of its own, it flows from my forehead, runs along my nose and bathes my chin. The T of my face looks so oily, may be Idhayam will book me for their next gingelly oil ad! Good-riddance Jyo! And the ultimate one comes those days when i keep jasmine flowers in my 3 inches hair. As the clock ticks on, the thread gets lengthier. By the day end, when i vacate my seat, there will be flowers strewn all over and a very irritated ( obviously!) male occupying the same chair for his next shift;) 


The obvious fashion and decency faux pas that usually occur in office are WMF ( Wardrobe Mal Function), SLTM ( Sunday Longer Than Monday), PKOC (Pull the Kitten Outta the Cupboard) and the perennial peekaboos! I start with WMF- You plan the green saree could go well with your black blouse and enter your office with a great do i look beautiful smile. Alas! the smirks on your female colleagues' faces and the lopsided smile of your male counterparts tell the whole story. You are an avid inventor, only next to Da Vinci. You are artistic and Da Vinci would be wincing, glancing at your sea blue ( or is it sea green?) and pink ensemble from Up Above! You wish you knew who invented the matching blouse ideology. May be a bowl of your hand made halwa will ensure he never invents anything else...

Who might be better to illustrate international WMF than our Britney? What a dress to sport when you carry a nursing baby! I hate men who sport blue pants and green shirts...Worse  still, the Father of all Wardrobe Mal-Functions- our Kollywood and Tollywood Super Duper stars! "Champestanu...." roars Tollywood SuperHero in a  parrot green pants, cotton candy pink shirt, white belt and a huge silver buckle, oh- all this teamed up with canary yellow shoes....Oh my, i would swoon if i get to see one such person!


And the SLTM factor is ever present in office, especially the unassuming women folk. You never know something is amiss, until someone in the crowd outside or your friend inside the office points out. Probably Naidu Hall must be paying Royalty to all these SLTM women who advertise their bra...nd! I usually use the SLTM quote in office when unsuspecting staff suffer from this syndrome. They make a quick check...It doesn't look nice if Sunday is Longer Than Monday, you see!

SLTM ( Sunday Longer Than Monday)

Then there is the PKOC- Pull the Kitten Outta Cupboard which occurs often in churidhar clad women. As per definition, i always do a personal check while getting up;) And oh...the peekaboos! Sarees always play spoilsport when worn to office, which restricts your freedom of movement. I, in particular feel having been paralysed on my left, every time i don a saree...The Idi Amins of city buses and professional goldsmiths ( hehehe...they find every opportunity to rub on you!)  in offices, always have a knack of checking out the peekaboos at the right time! It is usually the mid section that mortifies us to eternal shame. To look decent, I always use half a dozen pins at all strategic locations to avoid unwarranted peekaboos.  And the dupattas- the less said, the better! I prefer to pin it up on both the shoulders when in office, to save some grace. I cringe when someone sports a dupatta that lies carelessly draped around the neck, exhibiting everything else... 


In office, dear friend? Check out WMF, SLTM, PKOC and peekaboos...Save your personal dignity and the men, from committing A Deadly Sin- staring at you! God save the women...